Water

Water

one oxygen two hydrogen
Goddesses represent the element of water like the gods represent fire. Anahita is the Persian Goddess of immaculate water and fertility. Portrayed as a virgin and the goddess of war. She very closely resembles Ishtar. Their animals are a dove and peacock. Tethys was the Titans goddess of  fresh water and nursing. Could this be where the word teat came from? Her parents being Orananos and Gaia. The waters of Sayella is  the Goddess of time and prophecy. She has the infinite knowledge of creation while her timeless waters flow even through the darkest caves of the oceans. The waters of Baveras are those of the sea. Wild and untamed she has many faces. In a state of constant transition she inspires artists and healers.

Wiccans represent water with the chalice. Using water or wine in ritual cups. Colors between blue and green can be recognized throughout the world to indicate water. Its symbol is an upside down triangle.

The four  astrology signs that divide the year up equal are: Pisces, cancer and Scorpio all share some of same common characteristics  of the water element. These people are able to feel the vibrations of those around them, very sensitive and can easily be carried away, fill others with healing energy or be an emotional drain. Regeneration, restorative, nurturing and dreamy describes a water baby well.

In the fung shui ( literaly means wind and water) practice water is associated with  female, yang energy. Water holds chi ( life force) and is associated with prosperity. Putting a fountain or a fish tank at the north or south ends of your house, which ever one is away from your bedrooms will increase the flow of abdundace into your house.

Winter transitions water to snow for every ten inches of snow equals one inch of rain.  The snow glazes the earth like sugar that sparkles invitingly for us to come and play… Humans run around clearing and cleaning snow moving it  from one place to another.   The weather is  an amazing natural condition. I often find that it helps to stabilize my moods, in one direction or another.

The water cycles through the seasons a infinite supply taken for granted. Rain will wash the earth clean creating pathways that flow over into the rivers. Flowing  into the streaming waters, rivers, lakes and oceans it doesn’t stop there. A completion to the water cypher  radiating evaporation into the heavens again. Carbon cycles from living to dead helping the living grow again completely reliant on the water. Our life repeats itself again.

Giai is so intricate in her complexity letting us bath in her veins. She lets us dance in her tears and swim in her womb. Rapture of the deep consumes some and releases others. I have been caught in her riptides wanting forever to be comfortable in her flowing waters. Feeling one surrounded by her filling my every crevas.
We need water to survive drinking as much as we can manage to cleanse and saturate our  cells. Depending on where we live the majority of the earth has to drink  water contaminated with farming and industrialization. Still she flows trying to detoxify us. She lets us live gathering momentum for the future generations as our bodies become Genetically modified organisms according to our environment. Still we drink and try to digest all of the waste water that has been treated.
As we meditate on the future ahead, work towards a positive view of the future one where organic soils have once again become rich and the water runs clean. With the last oil spill that has taken it’s toll on the gulf it sometimes seems hard to feel optimistic. The energy we need to see us through these next few years needs us to focus on the positive aspects of the future. Where we can detox ourselves  from our codependency on carbon by making it available for everyone.  Putting our minds into solving problems and creating self sustainable communities that are organizing green practices like: Solar and wind power, recycling, non toxic solutions, and more holistic approach to education.  By 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calender and the beginning of a new existence

How do we get back to simplifying? How do we find that pureness that we need? To nourish our bodies with vitality: Collecting rain water from the roof to water our gardens, saving bath water to flush our toilets, not using chemicals in or around our homes, clean up around the water tables and rivers to keep stuff from leaching into the rivers, reduce the amount of manufactured items that you buy into your life, don’t let the water run while your doing dishes or brushing your teeth, reduce the amount of carbon that you produce.

The water element is governed by the heart and the throat chakra.  Dominating your emotional needs, unlocking your past, and healthy emotional balance.  I fill up my glass carafe and place a few crystals in it depending on the property I need; I love quartz crystal for overall well being, amethyst for good dreams and love. Apatite for it’s digestive properties. Blue adventurine for friendships, love, reason and communication. In the summer I put some flowers in the water for flower essences. Each flower holds properties to help you in your life: cherry blossoms and jasmine for love.  You can find numerous books on flower and mineral essence before you do some rocks and flowers do have toxic properties while others are very healing. The very act of letting the water sit lets some chemicals evaporate making the water taste better.

Rain

Sometimes the weather feels as though it is a part of my being,

belonging to me. Blending with my tears, soaking my emotions.

Rhyming with pain as it makes my body ache.

A chorus of insanity falls upon the earth.

Flooding our plane of existence…

letting everyone see how I feel.

No sun shall shine from the sky,

warming my insides,

burning my skin.

The moon and stars in the midnight sky

will disguise themselves,

hiding mysteriously behind the darkened clouds

r                     from our curious eyes tonight.
a                A rainfall at night may hold us for ransom inside
i         during the long hours of the darkness.
n           There is a constant tapping. Anahita is

Reminding us to listen intently to the condition of the battle -

on the roof above you.

The wind is rattling the windows,

as if mother nature is trying to breakthrough to you.

It is only the sound of her tears crying on my window of pain,

reminding me of sorrow.

The sound of so many rain drops hypnotizes me into a transcended  state of mind as they hit upon the objects of the earth in the midnight hours.  I would love to stick my tongue out

and let a snowflake fall on it again.

clean.

I often feel the rain  is a part of my being.

I take it personally  for it is mine alone.

During the middle of a storm,

I lift my hands high above my head in homage, letting the rain saturate my palms, spilling down in streams through the pits of my arms.

I can only giggle as the torture tickles me.

For the rest of the fallen rain drops stain my clothes wet.

From as far as I can see

- to the ground below my feet-

h2o each molecule is a part of this universe-

a unity for you and me to wash our lives.
–

The rain seems to follow me wherever I go, from Maine to the bottom of Mexico. Crossing all borders bound for freedom….

Making me wet from the inside out, soaking  my dignity along with  my clothes.

On a day like this, everything is a uniform of grey.

Shadows standing tall and proud around any corner you may turn.

Everybody goes on with their life in a downpour.

The cars flying over thirty-five hydroplane down the streets.

Splashing innocent pedestrians now immersed in a mixture of oily,

murky nasty water

the road had willingly collected for this occasion.

Kids have no worries as they make sure not to miss the chance to jump, dance, splash and kick through every puddle they come across. Only to arrive home in their soaking wet clothes. Dripping liquid all over their mamma’s clean floor. A muddy season with no mercy for the saturated souls. Wrinkled toes pealed from the dripping socks as soggy fingers wring out the water from unwanted wetness. The pretty girls hide their hair. Brave men just don’t care. Our elders are aching within the arthritic wizened culture that divides us.  No matter where you look what you will perceive  is the drizzle falling from the sky. How the motion concurs  over the still dryness that use to be. Rainbows steal the few glimpses of sun that may peak from behind the cloud renewing our faith. Through a silver lining we can see a new beginning.

The night crawlers are having a field day playing slimming their way through the mud, grass and foliage. Outside I get high from my altered states of consciousness, I feel safe from the flood of emotion. The cats are running from one shelter from the next, trying to keep their precious fur coats dry. The cows are lying in the pasture nibbling on grass.

I observe the individual translucent  rain droplets as they hit the middle of the pools of water. The infinity of circles after impact as it dissipates and becomes one with the mass of metallic looking liquid. Each drop reflects our world upside down. Water is the most abundant element on our planet.

Lightening enhances the world we live in with illuminating flashes of light. When the hot and cold air fronts come together it creates a magical sky. The incredibly ravishing electricity with artistic streaks of light tears from the overcast sky into  our ecosystem. Thunder  roars the storm clouds in with a warning making your ear drums vibrate  with the intense sound of the storms position. Anticipating the eye of the storm hoping that it doesn’t  see you. Lightening can be dangerous, but it is still exciting to me. Reviving me with incredible amounts of energy with every glimpse of fire that is cast upon the earth from the heavens above.When I search the skies for a vision to ponder I find striking results in a mid summers storm.

–

ice

Songs of the Gypsy

Soul Love Songs of a Gypsy

Connected to the source

Of inspiration

My heart opened from years

of being neglected

I could feel my desires

Focus in appreciation

My tears flowed freely like a river

Of the divine

Being nourished

And time stood still

Run away

I sat by the sea

And listened for my heart to beat

I waited for someone who loved me

The ocean roaring, waiting to take me

I look to the sky and a light shone on my face

Nourish in the divine….United again

The world tuning below my feet

A power greater than the difference

Between you and I

The moon in the midnight sky

Obstacles

Quiet desperation

Laced with inspiration

A time of introspection

In a time of monetary deception

I revel in

Anticipation at the known

Existence of angels

Saving my soul

From the depths of all my obstacles

Fellowship zone

Hello, sip of sweet sin

Wink of an eye

Smiles of the sly

Everyone’s friends

in the fellowship zone

flyin high in wonders sky

open wide, mind flies

Chaos on the mental plane

can’t change, gotta stray

Square scares me more

hope and dreams are realities

Loves a trip of sid

vicious hate and rage

not ,

in the fellowship zone

only innocent and sweet

Time

When I see

my eyes are wide.

Every day I walk a new stride.

Never in the same life

Shall I eat

Not savoring every bite.

Capture each moment

Hold down slow,

Enjoy the show.

Time is my

Enemy

Life is so little

To rush is not precious

Unless riches prevail

Smokey is my reality,

Hazy is my scene

Lazy is my body

From making me scream.

My mind is on overtime

Dreams and desires

Soon to be

Loving kindly

Teach me mildly

Hold on to your words forever

Teach me rough and ill learn other stuff.

Teach me reality and ill sell you dreams.

When you’re mean

I grow old

My blood goes cold.

My mind is a brick wall

I swim in a ocean of

Misery, furiously

I cry

I want so much in

Life, not to sacrifice

There’s not enough time,

to waste a second.

This gypsy soul,

Needs to travel more;

Dance and sing, live in peace.

Hold on to love as one

Appreciate time

96

Theoretically

Reaction to action

Whatever it may be

Affecting me

Behaviorally.

Interrelated

Notions

Make me wanna

Drink a potion

To cure social

Perspectives of

Individuals

Ways of living.

Judging

Independently

Irrationally
Its only through

The heart of a woman

That I can see

My age race

And time settles

Me in places

Stillness doesn’t

Quite settle

Or endure

Through sentiment

Nor can I live

Though inside

Ive been awakend

I cease to destroy

The independence

I gathered

In the awakening

In these moments

I lay justified

In my guilt

Crowningshield

2010

Soiled doves

I am

Encompassed

Infatuation

To innocent to turn

A tide

Not so, to splash

My mind

History plays on

Future so clean

A purifing mists

Of change

Sacred notion

Pivotal motion

In areas of realm

Amid sweet chocolate

I add spice

To taste

For vitality

I come alive

In love

One single morsel

Melted.

Eternity

As though it seems

Eternity never waits…

Nor stops for fate to pass

Missing

each linked second

Of a time

Laps.

The center core of my being

Cannot compare

The longing alternate   style

Waiting impatient dawns

Through awakened hours

I see through your eyes

Can you venture through mine?

Finding mission unlikely

Standing face to face

Fighting the devil, pimps and crooks and drunks

Achievements

won by love

I feel so alive this bright sunny day

Living life as a survivor

Ignorance is a lesson learned

Another day I ride

Sad songs of yesterday always make me cry

Thinking it’s about time

Life is way to insane

My next heart beat

Dead and raped on the street

Don’t look over your shoulder

The nights grow colder

Until I find a warm embrace

Living free

Yesterday’s dreams

Will be tomorrow’s realities

Should be today’s

I have to go

Travel and explore

Gotta keep moving away from these rough days

Destiny controls my heart beat

Holding free

A soul wanting to go higher

Talents Unknown

Many stories untold

Until an old soul whispers behind a pen

The words flow

Unknown

Past lives

What the future hides

Cannot see

Evil, only peace

Dreams of living free

Wish I knew

Simplicity

July 1997, Virginia Beach

Choices

There are choices to make in life

One could turn your whole world around

I feel like I am walking on glass

Just one wrong step

My blood will stain the world red

I’m always on the edge

Time changes everything

So I’ve only got fate to map my way time

Experiencing life, for it may be short lived

Any day, any time

It could all end

Just a soul let loose

Feeling so lost

Trapped by life going day to day

My choices made in time

Losing control

Time on me

Plays games

Teaches morality

Each passing day

I believe in each of the mysteries

that pass before me

From the warmth of my belly

I hear my heart roar

Motivation in the heat of desire

A new passion renders my soul

Secrets held in pieces of me

As an untouchable

Count my ways to play

on my mental plane

Real

Listen child no matter

How old

Don’t speak without meaning

And you shall learn

And rage in theory

Only one chance to play

When I play the game

I don’t play to win

I play for immortality

West Virginia, 1997

Seas of sanction

Guilt reigns

Mirrored pains

Washing my face

From societies

Beliefs

State of minds

Seas of sanction

Realms of compassion

Have no say

In a world of decay

Left after dis-ease

State of minds

Seas of sanction

Can anyone win

Temptations and urges of discipline?

Morals of precaution

In a day of race and age

Not to whom

Respect is deserved

State of minds

In realms of deceptions

Distinctive essays

Professor’s red

Blood of lonely

Heart of blue

Ocean waves of prosperity

Enhance society

With morals of simplicity

Soul Love

Things that were meant to be,

Or not meant to happen.

Things said but never heard,

all good words.

Love forever, that never existed.

A religion, a faith

Of believing in yourself

Your power, independence

Overcoming obstacles

Patterns of life

Celestial circles

Just listen

To new

Perceptions shared

Insights gained

Meaning

(¿Cuál es el significado de la vida?”)

Sin is the name holding down shame

wrath of uncaring hearts

We against the world

Its us who feel the rain

I watched it go, an felt it come

Innocence is taken back

By pleasing natural curiosity

Sun on my face

Waves crashing against the shore

Saturating each pebble

Each cell of my body

time on a monotonous clock, ticking endlessly

eternity  holds no boundaries

neither can feelings be measured

we have a destiny

to effect, teach, and learn

to each people we meet

gather in the streets

hypocrisy teaches an ego

all eyes will see through hate crimes

Don’t brainwash a child over an issue

Love holds sacred

Holding and piecing your morals together

Naked shall be true

Upfront are vows

Hold now tendency

To scatter personal meaning

To bad situations

Only to find hope in the mirror

Infecting each person we meet

With positive insight

And help this world.

As energy caresses

Get deep into new evolutions

Mark each heart with meaning

¿Cuál es el significado de la vida?”

Her

Mindless chatter

From a self proclaimed

Palladian singer

Capturing undivided

Attention of those around

With no realness in her narcissist being

The tornado continues

As alls fair in love

Is destroyed

Trust and reality

for a dream that doesn’t exist.

Interpretations

Convoluted situations

across the nations

another’s risk

in reasons

drastic revelations

in dreams

Reasons

Energetic prophecy

Hypothetical evaluations

onto cross contaminations

Makes sense to me

To rain on litigations

Mild interpretations of this place,

time

And space we occupy

Time solutions

Evil ution

Time consumptions

Simple notions

Easy medication

Rippling education

Mixed notions

False presumption

Mal adjustments

In capital gain

Bring pain

Criteria leaves average

Folk on their on their knees

Paperwork that kills trees

Brings forest disperse

In shuffling, processing

And time telling

Positions that have no aim

Bring the power

Back to the hands

That serves and not destroys.

Women’s studies, Amherst 2010

Feed my soul.

Nourish my mind

Touch my self

To make love grow

Being kind to yourself

To find your life’s mission

Inside outside buzzing time

Feed my soul

Ocean

The sound of the ocean waves

Is nature’s purest voice                 speaking

If could never walk by the oceans side

My last breath has already been taken

When the sand filters between your toes,

And the sea crashes against your legs

You become one              with the rest of the world

Part of its being

As you immerse yourself

Naked between the universes on a hot summer day

Swimming with the animals that live in the sea

Teach yourself to be free, take your land and play            Hawaii 1995 A Dreams Journey

When a dream concurs your heart,

A journey is long lived alone.

Eclipsing my moon,

tryin so hard to find my home.

Looking for dawn

Scrounging new strength

Learning and loving

This experience.

When a dreams all you have

Diggin deep for change

Hiding fear

Livin on

Desires deceit

The stars are all you need

When innocence captures your eyes.

Someone’s always preying on fresh meat

Talking a straight living

Keeping a dreaming mind

Stayin high without falling down

Notions

A twisted set of notions

Confusion is lost reality,

If there ever was any.

Secrets confined to memory,

Words I can’t hear.

Intangible actions

Reasons with fear

Death escapes insanity.

Melodies of morning,

Visions I plore,

Ideas I ponder,

I know I want more.

Simplicity gave way

Taxes my brain

Orgasms high

Curiosity kills unsuspecting lives

For committing to a kind of existence

This country was founded for

On this planet of thieves

Who steal energy from the naïve.

Love so deep

It seeps death

Until the last breath

Two souls combined

So deep can love be

Held only to devour

Of every minuets

Of every last hour

Formation of souls

Make love

Only one

The wondrous delights

Surprise in life

How soon can we love?

Hold on darling

While you soon discover

A new world of courage

I wanna be there

My soul is one

With the universe

Flyin through the air.

Untouchable Darkness

Where they come?           Where do they Go?

How can they flow?

This is the scary side

Where nightmares are my realities

My psychotherapy’s been my pen?

Hypnotherapy is in my lyrics

Expressing only the darkest shade of my soul

Secrets unfold

As stories are told

The only way I know how

I haVe found shadows in my soul growing darker as I get old

Shadows of my soul conquer my whole

A being of shades I am

Darkness caresses my soul

Covering my existence,

Taking a piece from inside of me.

I can’t run                        I can’t hide

The shadows held my blood for ransom

Here lies the journey

Of life

To new ventures to be trooped

I grow stronger as the days grow colder

Nights of ice continue.
r

On the deposit slip

I have completely demoralized you.

Using you as the object of my desire

Can you feel the heat?

Radiating from between my legs? Come in

Aching for you to come in.

I don’t have time to get to know you.

Commit, talk or date

I just want a thrust of your education

I want to know your body, eyes and smile

When you come in.

My mind spins, my body hurts

And you could fix it.

I’m open,

my choice is free
Cleanse

Cleanse me of my sins

Make me whole again

Cleanse me of my troubles

Make me see my path again

In time of crucial manner

Cleanse me of life’s dis- eases

Let words be freedom

Of minds delirium

Hurt with no one

My need to believe

may truth be our only savor.

In time of crucial manner

Make my love story

To overcome anything short of glory

Whose heart has shared…

Cleanse me of greed

Cleanse me of guilt

Domestic toxicity

In revengeful capacity

In moments to spare

Of righteous air

in timeless preoccupations

a realization to not dwell

of justice in monogamous

Revolution in sophistication

a pious mount in liberation

in cases of madness

a nation of broad casted fear

civil liberties don’t prepare you for

Everyday responsibilities

And monogamy

In the midst of

A desensitized sexual

Revolution

For what

Tiz winter green

And all is serene

Gentle is the breath of a newborn

Fragile are the petals just opened

Por que es el seasons

To my souls time

As they come together

To equal one

I will too

Expect nothing

All will be yours

For years of patients

All that has been forgot

All that has been forgotten

Demand to the point

Reality sank sin

Falling in love again

Compromise trust

Unconditional

I give up

Whispers

Still,

an unmovable object

Conquering time worlds apart

Words,

Heard,

As they drift

Through the

Air like clouds

If thunder was

A voice

Have you listened?

Have you heard the sound of falling rain?

As it whispers

Our Name

Reality’s shade

No man plays

Nature’s way

A sarcastic game of reality

Is only what we perceive

What we see and hear

It’s ours for the millennium,

if we come to the year.

Where are we going to be when the judges don’t see

Hazy shades beyond curiosity

Might cost me

Might kill us

Different perceptions of the way things are supposed to be.

How can we deny the morals within our own sanction of trust?

Crossing domestic dimensions

Cures the fighter In me inside.

A baby cry’s inside

No need to tell me why I have a story too.

Bronx 95

Hues

Believe in justice

Not in the systematic

Approach to life

To give is to receive more

Care not of closed thought

For you are blinded by

Society’s views

Hue’s of colour

Everywhere we wonder

Holding that we wonder

Holding every thought that was carried

in the minds of memories

Believe in green

Always stay gold… money makes the world grow cold
Keepsakes Memorial

Hold on to value

What’s it all about

Today’s a day

When life has gone astray

when aura’s weaken

and problems prevail

Tomorrow seems hopeless

Sorrow is the only

Truth

Lies tangled

Life is so deranged

When coming of age

Is innocence rage

Passing of time

Plays games with mind

Insanity sets

Creativity is the only

Possession of value

Keepsakes memorial

March 26, 1997

Vitalized              I keep to me secrets of my shadows

Holding vital pieces of mysteries

Undiscovered

Treasures of joy

Peace within

So much love been hurt

And shamed

My pride will rage

Through this towns cage

Containing me

Captivates

Alienates

Hates

Holds me back forever

Gotta get out of here

Secrets and stories

Down every street

That I drive

Moments stand still

On the time line

In my mind

My soul will revive

Vitalized

Just to be me

A smile passes from my lips

A tear drops from my eye

This is where life brought me

I hope for more

Than skills that come natural

The questions that enter my mind

Driving me insane

What is sane?

Never to be a child again

I once was

She’s lost in the past

I want to go back

To where it didn’t matter

But now I am free

Of misery

Knowing it’s not too late

to be where I want to be

It’s time






Inspired by songs of

myself
For one brief moment

In my timeless existence

I breathe/I feel

I feel am so alive

My sense alert to

Each and every cell

A synergy of all my parts makes me

Unique/ whole

Dividing and multiplying

I am the mother of creation

Alive/and breathing

Forever in nature

I assume this position

The one control I maintain in this world

I breathe/

I dance

Feeling my interconnectedness with all living things

I watch the plants and the tree’s responding

To my energy

Thoughts/songs

Dancing in unison the sound of the leaves

Clapping/

Falling

Make me come undone

Feeling free

From the mundane

Cooking and cleaning

I can be one with the divine

Source of my inspiration

I am free of this

Reality/technology

The ocean waves in anticipation

Surrendering to the rise and fall of the moon

I feel the earth breathe in each and every

Cell in saturated in her womb

How can we grow together,

If we dance outside of each other’s comfort?

Lying about who we are and what we do?

In order to know the source of my words

Exist with me.

How can we unite if we don’t nurture

The peace within our hearts

Without trust there is no future with us

I have evolved from my past

Songs of the Gypsy

Guitar

Songs of the Gypsy earth Magik dancing through the air
I can only imagine the knowing hands that dance on the rifts
baile, baile, Baile
The strings played created memories
in the moments that make you feel
ageless, in a timeless existence.
mystical lyrics
fill the night air.

capturing the stories in the tune
like Ocean waves carried by the moon
clipper ships mark the territory in the ripples they leave behind
gathering momentum in the turn of the tide

finger tips tapping on the strings echoing
in the chaos of the mind.
clicking of the heals
echoing like drums ’round a fire
like the heart beat of the divine
a momentary lapse of reasoning

creating
an illusionary bonding
customary apocalyptic revaluations
crossing dimensions through time
escaping justice through the lyrical rhyme

Feeling the vibration
in every cell of my body
creating change
past,
present and future
memories
with each passing measure of the hand
notes echoing in my ear
all the words I need to hear
whispering  wish’s

The Gypsy earth  magik
The  crying of the guitar
melodies carrying the rhythm
through the air
vibrations

through the moments
breaking through memories like images to film
crisp and clean
basking in the sun
sweet saturated minuets
blazing through the horizons of my mind
capable of turning moods like the tide
each note makes the nerves and muscles move
through
balie, balie, balie
with each breath
my ears are filled with sound
each string makes
fingers dancing on rifts

Dancing through the air
making it all possible
to be here
Immaculate revelations

Bout’ situations

That seems so natural

Boundaries that shouldn’t

Be crossed

Reasons that don’t exist

Doesn’t take away

This heaviness in my chest

When polished notions

Crossed sacred vows

In search of confluence

Of reasons

My lover- a memory forever

Simply.. a spark in ambition

Your love a likely situation

But, where would I be;

Cracks feign, pregnant before 19-pimped out?

Singing songs in a hometown wasteland

I have trooped all these city streets alone

Trying to find my way home

Single, my mind wonders

Levels of excitement fill the air

Nothing compares

I want to go so far, Travel all the seas

Exotic lands

Buddha jams

Smoking sessions

Foreign palaces

Going crazy, every day

Even a world away I whisper your name

As the moon rises over the mountain

I make a wish to share your love all over the lands

Shopping in villages, making Central Park ours,

Sex on a high rise, Sex on a beach

a love that saved my soul.
I can’t touch her soul

No, she’ll never know

Just how her glitter glows

How she’s shined in my eyes

The rays of hope

She sang sweet songs

Notions and tones to my mind

An aura beyond her heart

All my life I looked up to you

When the stars lose their shine

My dreams are shattered

My misconception is all that mattered

Where do I look for inspiration?

When mysterious ways over talented by reality

Who will concur my fantasy

Why do we play in deceptions field

I wanna reach out and hold you free

Cure your pain heal your soul with of touch of my hand

I thought you were my love~ a strong independent woman

Your strength in words never went unheard

My heart aches please stop teasing fate

You can hold your own

I can’t touch your soul

If there was any way I could help her now

Make her see

The beauty inside

She’s crying alone

I can’t help her now

Master past and present pain

Realities are sometimes so far away

On the dark side

Envying her strength in song

I can’t help her now

All grown up and on her own

She is crying lonely in the dark

White doves captured her mind

Her loves flying high

She can’t see where she’s going

Its so strange, bells on a dove

Ive been through that phase, helpless substance

An easy way down

Beyond an existence of a vision

Keeping my head towards the clouds

Letting the rain wash away the pain

Like tears falling from our eyes

Always in disguise

Running with pride

Like a gypsy woman

In disguise

Without a trace of disgrace


Illuminating

My life completed all at once

As the full moon rose

To the midnight hour

Illuminating light

Filled the island

Hypnotizing as the Ocean waves

Crash against the shore

Glowing from the abyss below

Feeling eternally one with the land

The earth and the sand

August 28, 1995

Oahu Hawaii, The night came into its final stage
A Timeless Expression

I

Brown eyes, large brown eyes

Depending on me. Searching for

my soul. Answers in this Timeless

expression

ii

Sleeping like a angel, I crawl

under the covers of the morning light

curled in a fetal positions

one Timeless expression

iii

A tornado winding through my house

knocking a mass of stuff all-over

layers deep

iV

Upside down in a cupboard

under a  table, what is going on?

Sassy, wild energy

V

racing through these rooms with abundance

Bouncing through these walls

Echoing voice’s-screams

& laughter I his silent world

Broke down in rage

A timeless transition

Vi

A song breaks the silence

I see his soul shine

In his mystical Lyric

Beyond the memories

Of escalated Timeless behavior

Vii

A spirit rising

Changing – breaking- aching

Growing an unconditional

Rhythm shining indigo

poetry

Birthday

your hair silver dreaded

flowing down your back

like a prized Nubian queen

in America, in a small

vortex town where even

the seagulls find their way

and hang

Hours away from the shore.

If my dreads continue growing

To my 40^th year. My dreads will tickle

my knees, with silver

flowing down my back-

fading to flaxen-

Will lines crease my face?

On my Birthday today I am 35 with a few lines

caressing my eyes- furrowing my brow-

wrinkles raging my wrist sagging down to my

knuckle

I’m getting old from the outside in and downstairs up.

My gut protrudes from

my body with raging cortisol

The days of the mother

are full of checks+balances

that don’t include time

for care.

Even as my feet look 35

today. I was going to paint them with

purple polish

but I forgot-

now my chipped silver nail polish

glistens in the Sunday getting ready to take a tub and be poked some

acupuncture and message-

-The lace under my black velvet

skirt doesn’t show much.

only when I fold my legs

my minds wrapped in warmth

My black knee high boots

in disguises my goth

The autumn sun exaggerates

reds, greens and golds

last dying days of life

as cold chlorophyll reaches the elements

Searching

This endless chasm of indigestion

led to this moment of true delirium

If I check the mail one more time

I might just see a job for me.

So I search:

the papers, the listings and online

I put on my best clothes

not showing any hint of my recession

not showing that I bought this dress in 1989

Or my shoes at the disco

or my scarf in the food line.

I set off walking to see what I could accomplish.

The birds started spilling out the roof to see what they could see.

Me doing what I detest. picking

up anything that will pass me through till tomorrow

bottommost

I saw a sign posted in a window when I went for coffee

when I should have been drinking tea.

I hid my eyes so I wouldn’t notice and I would have to apply

Some things in life just arn’t free

I can see when the wind blows that there will be a job for me

It’s not in the arts, nor teaching, or food

manufacturing the world of industrialization.

There is simply nothing that interests me.

I put my name on every list that contains

info. gave every last piece of me I had.

Till the sky turned green and snowed in july

I rocked the boat and bounced so high.

‘Nature’ is in guise

-a gesture of reality.

a quiet moment among flowers

only surpassed – by the rustling of the canopy’s leaves

a treasure tropism guided by Magik

automatic reflex- igniting mystery

a proboscis unraveled into nectar because of the taste of toes .

In the pachysandra toes tickling wet from dew

escaping aroma

sentence

interrupts my sentiments

‘Nature’

in her purest voice simplicity-spoken words

Through her humble movements- oceans and rivers

water falls and tides

a voice that begins in a whisperer

crickets-birds- rodents

growing louder in an enthusiastic roar

Lions-tigers and bears

‘Nature’

is the most unreasonable in

her earth quaking soul shaking way

unforgivable tornado plow driven ways

leveling and over taking

she continues to grow over our decay

making right of all our wrongs

The brain

Illuminates the seventh chakra. Indigo in pure light

spirituality in serenity

The brain

workings of each individual man, woman and child

The brain

a rhythm for the syntax

firing and connecting in the psyche

the brain is infinite in possibilities_

infinite in realms

+worlds- living in unison between dreams+ realities

Mist Essentials

As the mist falls,

formation is my imagination

Raining hardly on my mental plain-

Dire needs of direction for my travel zone.

scarce mine resources

but lyrical formation

zodiac times tarot

equals delirium

notions are poetry’s motions

rhythms holding down reality’s identity

I have only desires to grasp

dreams are mine when I hold nothing inside my hear

love is my mist essentials

On the deposit slip

I have completely demoralized you.

Using you as the object of my desire

Can you feel the heat?

Radiating from between my legs? Come in

Aching for you to come in.

I don’t have time to get to know you.

Commit, talk or date

I just want a thrust of your education

I want to know your body, eyes and smile

When you come in.

My mind spins, my body hurts

And you could fix it.

I’m open,

my choice is free

bipolar, depression and (holistic) health

Body and brain

Bipolar and depression disorders run ramped through my family. There is a great majority of relatives with similar issues. As a kid it felt like an angry curse. As a mom I am so scared that I can’t break the cycle. Before I leave my living room I have picked up seven books to help me through this paper. There are so many was of dealing with problems within the realm of depression disorders through means of; energy, genetics, environmental, spiritual, and current biomedical treatments and using a holistic approach to overcome it. Everyone has taken a different approach to dealing with their lives some with greater consequence than others. As a holistic issue the difference that has occurred within the inevitable inheritance that affects ‘my tribe’.

The first chakra at the base of your spine deals with family issue’s  and how we relate to the world. This is where you first develop your belief system, where habits are formed(Myss,103). There have been five women in my family that have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. In the DSM 1V code is 296 this is someone with severe mood swings, having extreme joys and all out low and manic depressive with matching behavior(psychnet) Others have been diagnosed with things like post postpartum depression, post traumatic stress disorder, depression, manic depression, boarder line personality disorder, bulimic and anorexicThere is also some severe sexual issues ranging from being raped to dealing with the sex industry to having a very inconsistent sex life as a primal fear this would be seen as a second chakra. Cutting also runs in the family. There are five cutters I do believe that this phase is over but it is still very much an issue dealing with depression. No one knew that the other one was doing it. and this was occurring at different times in a 20 year period. For me I remember trying to kill my self and then falling asleep watching the blood drip. I did it several more times then found other ways to self medicate.  Some have more than one symptom or diagnosis where others have none. I am afraid that my kids and I show definite symptoms and have many issues as well, though our therapists have not diagnosed the kids. All of these dysfunctions of depression can result from the second chakra (129-130 Myss)

The chakras are a group of energy centers there are seven of them that are lined up from the crown of your head to the base of your spine. Each one has a lot of things that it can encompass. Energetically focusing on each one of these to help deal with and alleviate problems.(myss) Through energy diagnostics you can clear blockages that can build up and lead to serious health problems. Through modalities such as massage, reiki and acupuncture.

There is no none cure for bipolar, they do list bio medicines that may help like lithium, prozac. The severity of it depends upon the treatment.  Those who are able to stay away from drugs and alcohol, eat right and exercise can avoid medication (psychnet). I work with a therapist and stay  towards  a holistic approach, I have ptsd, I had postpartum depression and  I bet if I tried I could get diagnosed with bi polar as well. Those who are not able to follow a program have some terrible problems. They don’t stay consistent with their therapies; they don’t follow a healthy organic, chemical free, no sugar, no caffeine diet. I have seen them steadily decline and have these really complex dramas that they weave amongst themselves. They go back and forth between addictions and falling into rages, ostracizing themselves from the family for long periods of time. Their health takes a toll. Cancers  by Hays definition comes from deep hurt, longstanding resentment, deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatred (hays,159) and all kinds of other ailments like fibromyalgia and back problems ; emotion-Lack of emotional support, feeling unloved, holding back love, Guilt. Stuck in all that “stuff” back there. Get off my back. Fear of money. Lack of financial support ( hay,154 )

In my Brain and Body course there has been some discussion about this being passed down through the family. Weather it is genetics or learned behavior I want to figure it all out before I have to live another day in chaos. This topic keeps running around my head, but I am not going to base this report off of ‘woundology … use the revelation and exchange of our wounds as the substance of conversation’ (209, Myss) I will not blame . That is how we stay in a problem and  give away our power. Understanding enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future.(35, Hay)

Through these  serious diagnoses we continue to work through issues . Trying to keep a family alive while dealing with problems and healing ourselves. One and four women will be depressed at some point in their lives compared to one in eight men. There are over seven million women in the United States with a diagnosable depression.(Foley,Nechas,136) Why? Dr. McGrath in her book Women and Depression; risk factors and treatment issues. “One study estimated that 37%before the age of 21 of women have had a significant experience of physical or sexual abuse. She also states that this number could be more like 50%. If it is genetics that is responsible  than can  people be held responsible for their actions?  learning to deal with your issues needs to happen no matter what you have to work with. Insanity as defined by Louise hay is fleeing from the family, escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.

I haven’t raised my kids to believe that responsibility comes from a doctor contrived pill. Yet at the same time I find my self paying big bucks to find a natural holistic approach to dealing with the issue’s in my immediate family, the one that I am responsible for; my tribe, myself and my children. Each day I search out a new method. Herbal remedy’s chamomile and valerian, I have also learned from this class in brain and biology  that chocolate and coffee can have some positive effects on the brain. Chocolate releases endorphins and is a great antioxidant. Coffee also has an effect like ridilin in children where it helps to fire the synapses in the brain. A daily regiment of vitamins : magnesium and potassium levels up, 1-3,000 mg of vitamin c, d,  zinc and b’s Trying to keep us well stocked in your  these things help with anxiety issues, weight and over health and well being. This level of care is intense especially  important when you are the caretaker of the family.  My general belief is you have to keep going until you find what works. If after you take all the chemicals from your diet you still are not happy. Than search out biomedicine. There is a lot to be said for brain chemistry. When it is off than the saratonine stops firing than you need to find what is going to make it fire. Sometimes melatonin can help but other times you really need to see a doctor and have them treat you.

A lot of times this angry curse takes over our house and holds us back from having a good life. Is this brain chemistry? Something that I can’t fix or is this something that  could be a simple remedy? I think that it is worse for your body to rage than it is for your body to take a pill to make you feel normal. I have lived with both. Sometimes you have to feel good before you can know how to be good.

Doreen Virtue would call them  my indigo children, because they under every circumstance do whatever they can to impose their way on you. They are smart and have sensitivities to clothing, skin and cleaners florescent lights, they are spirited, compassionate, and energetic. Indigo and crystal children have this imminent light that shines on you holding your responsible for your actions. They have a way of making you become a better person just by knowing them. Making you want to search out the truth and fight for social justice. Classifying my quirky kids is like putting a spiritual name to our issues labeling them with a positive name for being who they are. For them I will try anything

They have taught me what love is, even through the chaos.

Bibliography

Anatomy of the spirit, Caroline Myss, PH.D. Harmony books, NY

You can heal your life, Louise l hay, Hay House Inc

http;//psychnet-uk.com/bipolar1&2

Women’s Encyclopedia of health and emotional healing, Denise foley, Eileen Nechas, Rodale health

Dr. McGrath in her book Women and Depression; risk factors and treatment issues.

The care and feeding of indigo Children, Doreen Virtue, Ph.D

Celiac disease, Cancer, Radiation and long term holistic health as a survivor

There are so many theories on cancer, radiation and the after shocks of the whole protocol of killing cells. I will confront and dissect some of them. I am very interested in holistic approaches to going and staying cancer free. What does it take to stay alive after a diagnosis? How do you stay cancer free when genetics are working against you? What are the long term effects of radiation? How can we use holistic health practices to our advantage?

.   My Mom, Vickie  is a survivor of breast cancer;175,000 woman are diagnosed with breast cancer a year(22,Weed) she had a double mastectomy and has been cancer free for 8 years. Two of the five women I know that have been diagnosed with cancer from that time period are still alive. I attribute a lot of this to their lifestyle changes. Ginger didn’t quit smoking and Jake didn’t quit drinking they died both last year.

Breast cancer prevention (20-25,weed) says there are a few things that help along the growth of breast cancer; Hormones including the one’s your body makes and the ones found in milk, meat, steroids and cortisone. Hormones in your body can be reduced by exercise, pregnancy, nursing, staying away from hormones. Organochlorines are found out in pesticides and herbicides, plastics and other chlorine products like water and bleached paper. Radiation, Electromagnetic fields like the one’s emitted from microwaves and computers monitors, alcohol, and extra calories. Avoiding these things and making other things like night at light, any and all lights at night decrease the level of melatonin, Sunscreen and mineral oil block the body’s ability to make vitamin d a great antioxidant that helps to fight cancer. Woman who where bra’s show a 20%increase in breast cancer. Regular exercise improves the body’s function of immune system and reduces stress . Taking care of ones self is important too the typical women who has cancer is one who tries hard to please others.(22-25weed)

Good news though by changing to a healthy lifestyle it is reversible with the foods we eat like phytoestrogens, semi- vegetarian diet, lots of green veggies, lots of vitamin c, e, d, selenium and exercise. Taking supplements is not as effective as eating real foods that contain these ingredients. Susan Weed has a few books on herbal remedies to help along your health. She makes herbalism easy to understand. She makes breast cancer a beatable case. What it comes down to is attitude and the ability to beat it…

Darell Shchmitt, 56, is a survivor of pancreatic cancer which has little to no success rate in overcoming. What is really interesting in this case is his diagnosis after surviving.  The Doctor’s found the cancer through biopsy’s that they took in the head of his pancreases. A biopsy is in essence very invasive way of finding cancer by cutting into the body and taking tissue samples from the place that has abnormal cells. Within two weeks of his Diagnosis he was on the operating table, three weeks after his terrible stomach pain that caused him to go to the doctors in the first place. ‘Aug. 28, 2007. Doctors removed the head and neck of Schmidty’s pancreas, half of his stomach, his gall bladder, bile duct, some lymph nodes and one-and-a-half feet of his small intestine.’ After the surgery he started loosing weight rapidly going from 206 to 155 in just a few weeks, he was very weak and grey. Soon he was diagnosed with Celiac’s disease and osteoporosis. Now he is taking 26 pills a day he has changed his diet and is living a good life.(Gardner) The only question that I have is if his celiac diagnosis came earlier than would it have saved him from having to endure cancers at all?

My son, Ocean was having really bad eczema all over his body but especially bad in the diaper area. He was just five years old. After I read the Atkins diet and discovered that wheat allergies come in varies forms and that most people are not able to process gluten in varies forms. After a long story his wheat allergy was diagnosed but not before other symptoms had taken over his body.  He had an anaphylactic reaction; he contracted staph and kept getting it during that first summer. He almost died. He couldn’t pick his head up off the chair, his stomach was bleeding. I got rid of the medicines and did a pure holistic approach to his issues. I got his diet under control, turns out wheat is in everything. As the toxicity was cleaned out of his system his skin cleared up and his energy returned. He was having topical symptoms of toxicity in his system and I was able to change this and solve his issue’s had I not than would he have also developed cancer?

I had never linked wheat allergy and eczema together. Ocean would have continued to show symptoms that would have been diagnosed as topical things like eczema. My nephew was diagnosed with psoriasis that was healed when he was taken off of wheat products. Now I dive into the internet search and find all kinds of links to wheat allergy’s and cancers, auto immune disorders, ‘osteoporosis, epilepsy, learning disorders, infertility, miscarriages, liver disease and a wide variety of problems.’( Miller) Gluten allergy’s mean that you are not processing your food properly. The digestion doesn’t work when you have gluten sensitivities; the body becomes nutritionally deficient causing auto immune deficiency. Not all who have one thing will have another, everything depends on environmental conditions.

The tissue damage from the inability to digest wheat gluten proteins causes so many varieties of problems that won’t ever be considered by most physicians as a issue. Every body has cells that could mutate; a healthy body takes care of these. If your body is compromised through stress or improper digestion these cells could turn cancerous, you could get sick from the common cold or other auto immune problems could take over.

“Gluten contains opioid mimicking peptides called exorphins that have been found to cause such a state. These peptides can increase the risk of cancer by preventing the immune system’s natural killer cells from detecting and destroying cancerous cells. Exorphins can also facilitate the progression of cancer by increasing insulin production which has the effect of feeding cancer cells and assisting their growth.’(Miller)

So just taking gluten out of your diet could significantly alter your body’s ability to fight anything. Gluten has peptides that resemble human tissue’s making the body react through antibodies to attack different organs of the body.(Miller) Keeping your immune system operating at ‘maximum efficiency’ (Micheaud and Feinstein)is essential to avoid cancer.

Avoiding all carcinogens in the environment is important to keeping cancer at bay when you are genetically disposed to having an uprising in your body. Other ways to keep your immune system a boost according to preventions fighting disease is by getting some exercise, laughing, sleeping and staying away from smoking and sunlight. Taking vitamins a, b, c, d, and zinc need to become part of everyday living.. The trick is that even chemo won’t work after doing it once, you have to keep trying different things.

By reducing all health issue’s to just two culprit’s, we can simplify treatments. There are living things like parasites and toxins that hamper our body’s ability to fight deterioration. Dr. Clark has many case studies that cure all dis-ease. She has discovered a way to build an electronic pulse that zaps parasites within minuets or through a series of cleanses she has found a way to kill them within weeks.  She claims that cancer is a parasite called fluke dis-ease. If you kill the parasite than you kill the cancer.(331,Clark) fasciopsis buskii is a flat worm in the intestines, usually living a quiet life, the eggs should pass with the bowls. Evolution states that the human carrier will allow fluke to live longer as long as the human stays alive.

 What happens if the flukes egg’s are not able to pass through the intestines and hatch? Than it starts to travel around the body, laying egg’s in the breast and then the breast’s inability to kill the fluke leads to the imbalance of cancer cells. As long as the there is a abnormal solvent like isopropyl alcohol in our everyday products; ‘Bottled water, decaffeinated caffeine, white sugar, carbonated beverages, fruit juices, hair stuff, skin stuff, sprays and hand sanitizers,’(335, Clark) the fluke will thrive.

Clark also goes on to state that carcinogens once thought to cause cancer are actually agents in showing cancer where to develop. Cigarettes will cause the lungs to weaken and cancer to develop there. Nickel will lead the flukes to the pancreases. Top carcinogens would include; ‘Freon, Copper, fiberglass or asbestos, mercury as in tooth fillings, lead, formaldehyde and nickel.’(337, Clark) There is a mold that grows on food that also decreases the bodies ability to detoxify alcohol in our body, so she suggest that we use powdered vitamins c on all of our foods to boost that ability. Then follow her parasite cleanse.

My personal case study with the parasite cleanse happened this past semester. Due to my acl injury, actually there was a bunch of injury in my knee when I broke that ligament. Much of the muscles pulled and sprained around the knee. What dr. Clark explains is that through injury and over usage of a area toxins and fluke accumulation will build up around that area in the form of kidney stones, heal spurs, muscle knots, lumps. I ended up with a very painful heal spur that lasted until a few days after I started this cleanse. Three ingredients; clove, wormwood and black walnut. It has been 8 weeks that I have been pain free.