rain and earth elements

The sound of pitter pattering echoes around me, a wave of inertia sinks with each passerby. The vibration of all those who matter fills my surface. Children grow, run and play. I know each one. I have felt each being transform into adulthood. Growing with each step I feel each and every cell divide and multiply around here. Aware of each tree winding their roots into the depths of my ‘skin’ the outer layer of my body , my crust.  I’m am constantly evolving, changing. Each building a domain that houses and sustains life. Providing cycles that are my breath heating and cooling, wet and dry. The magnetic force keeps us in orbit.  My body is yours… Who am I?

Our Mother Earth, Gaia, enables our existence with grace so that we may thrive as a civilization. She endures and supports all of our ventures. Ancient civilizations worshiped the earth goddess and women for the first 200,000 thousand years of humanity. She has seen evolution through her timeless years of existence. Sustaining us as we go about our daily business slowly becoming disengaged with our world. One day while pulling invasive species from Highland park area in Western Massachusetts an elder of the Community in Western MA. Roberta, told me about” The Native American went to the Government and said ‘Why it that our good topsoil is is gone? It was black and full of minerals, the land was healthy and now it is sick with and barren?” Ever since then I notice more farming land where the land has been over sprayed and life is very formal. When I drive on the highways and roads  I see the vines taking down the trees strangling the very life of them. Large patches of invasive species killing the biodiversity. The summer green would hide it. I make dream catchers with some vines and my eyes look to see what I could create with all those vines if I had the time from fairy houses to arbors. Only I do not have enough time or hands to take on that challenge.

*The earth is sick. The invasive species act like cancers or mold taking over our already delicate ecosystem. Roberta is the “Lone Ranger” of the forest area that covers this park. For years she has been focused on passing down her knowledge of plants to help enrich this amazing little mountain side of Sachems Head. She shared her passion with my family, showing us all the different types of plants that were inhibiting all of our natural wild life to thrive. We met her one day while playing catch with an owl. My girlfriend was throwing a ball to our dog and the owl thought he would try and retrieve it as well. He continued to do play this game  for a while when we came across her in the middle of a pachysandra patch; pulling and counting. Since then we have covered a lot of ground; Virginia creeper and bittersweet are no match for us. My kids  love to cut the vine with the big clippers and saws. We have collected the seeds between the thorns of a Japanese burning bush and bitter sweet. Pulled garlic mustard by the trash bag full just to watch the native plants grow. Many hands make light work.

This is our earth, the one and only legacy that we will really leave to our children. It is important to make mindful choice that will improve the life of the planet for generations to come.


One oxygen, two hydrogen

Goddesses represent the element of water like the gods represent fire. As water is the source of life like the females anatomy.  Anahita is the Persian Goddess of immaculate water and fertility portrayed as a virgin and the goddess of war. She very closely resembles Ishtar. Both of their animals are a dove and peacock. Saturated in her ever flowing waters, swimming in her seas, caring for her animal’s betters our chances of survival in opposing forces of fertility and war. Tethys was the Titans Goddess of fresh water and nursing. Her parents being Orananos and Gaia great Goddess of the earth.  Our bodies are made up of 80% water, through transition our waters break flowing from our vaginas releasing life. Could Tethy’s be the inspiration for the word teat the nickname for nipple, for both cow and lady? The waters of Sayella are the Goddess of time and prophecy. She has the infinite knowledge of creation while her timeless waters flow even through the darkest caves of the oceans. The waters of Baveras are those of the sea. Wild and untamed she has many faces. In a state of constant transition she inspires artists and healers.  The makers of creation owning a peace of our puzzle.

Wiccans represent water with the chalice. Using water or wine in ritual cups. Colors between blue and green can be recognized throughout the world to indicate water. Its symbol is an upside down triangle. We anoint in ritual with water purifying our sins. Most religions cleanse with water as rain cleanses the earth in theory washing away all that decay.

The four astrology signs that divide the year up equally are: Pisces, cancer and Scorpio all share some of same common characteristics of the water element. These people are able to feel the vibrations of those around them, very sensitive and can easily be carried away, fill others with healing energy or be an emotional drain. Regeneration, restorative, nurturing and dreamy describes a water baby well.

In the fung shui (literally means wind and water) practice water is associated with the female yang energy. Water holds chi (life force) and is associated with prosperity. Putting a fountain or a fish tank at the north or south ends of your house, whichever one is away from your bedrooms will increase the flow of abundance into your house.

Winter transitions water to snow for every ten inches of snow equals one inch of rain.  The snow glazes the earth like sugar that sparkles invitingly for us to come and play… Humans run around clearing and cleaning snow moving it  from one place to another.   The weather is  an amazing natural condition. I often find that it helps to stabilize my moods, in one direction or another.

The water cycles through the seasons an infinite supply taken for granted. Rain will wash the earth clean creating pathways that flow over into the rivers. Flowing the streaming waters, rivers, lakes and oceans it doesn’t stop there. A completion to the water cypher radiating evaporation into the heavens again. Carbon cycles from living to dead helping the living grow again completely reliant on the water. Our life repeats itself again.

Giai is so intricate in her complexity letting us bath in her veins. She lets us dance in her tears and swim in her womb. Rapture of the deep consumes some and releases others. I have been caught in her riptides wanting forever to be comfortable in her flowing waters. Feeling one surrounded by her filling my every crevasse. We need water to survive drinking as much as we can manage to cleanse and saturate our cells. Depending on where we live the majority of the earth has to drink water contaminated with farming and industrialization. Still she flows trying to detoxify us. She lets us live gathering momentum for the future generations as our bodies become genetically modified organisms according to our environment. Still we drink and try to digest all of the waste water that has been treated. As we meditate on the future ahead, work towards a positive view of the future one where organic soils have once again become rich and the water runs clean. With the last oil spill that has taken its toll on the gulf it sometimes seems hard to feel optimistic. The energy we need to see us through these next few years needs us to focus on the positive aspects of the future. Where we can detox ourselves from our codependency on carbon by making it available for everyone.  Putting our minds into solving problems and creating self-sustainable communities that are organizing green practices like: Solar and wind power, recycling, nontoxic solutions, and more holistic approach to education.  By 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar and the beginning of a new existence

How do we get back to simplifying? How do we find that pureness that we need? To nourish our bodies with vitality: Collecting rain water from the roof to water our gardens, saving bath water to flush our toilets, not using chemicals in or around our homes, clean up around the water tables and rivers to keep stuff from leaching into the rivers, reduce the amount of manufactured items that you buy into your life, don’t let the water run while you’re doing dishes or brushing your teeth, reduce the amount of carbon that you produce.

The water element is governed by the heart and the throat chakra.  Dominating your emotional needs, unlocking your past, and healthy emotional balance.  I fill up my glass carafe and place a few crystals in it depending on the property I need; I love quartz crystal for its overall wellbeing properties, adding a dash of amethyst for good dreams and love.  I also place a little beautiful blue appetite  in my water for its digestive properties with a little blue aventurine for friendships, love, reason and communication. In the summer I put some flowers in the water for flower essences. Each flower holds properties to help you in your life: cherry blossoms and jasmine for love.  You can find numerous books on flower and mineral essence before you do some rocks and flowers do have toxic properties while others are very healing. The very act of letting the water sit lets some chemicals evaporate making the water taste better. 



Sometimes the weather feels as though it is a part of my being,

belonging to me. Blending with my tears, soaking my emotions.

Rhyming with pain as it makes my body ache.

A chorus of insanity falls upon the earth.

Flooding our plane of existence…                                            

letting everyone see how I feel.

No sun shall shine from the sky,

warming my insides,

burning my skin.

The moon and stars in the midnight sky

will disguise themselves,

hiding mysteriously behind the darkened clouds

r                     from our curious eyes tonight. a                A rainfall at night may hold us for ransom inside I         during the long hours of the darkness. n           There is a constant tapping. Anahita is

Reminding us to listen intently to the condition of the battle –

on the roof above you.

The wind is rattling the windows,

as if mother nature is trying to breakthrough to you.

It is only the sound of her tears crying on my window of pain,

reminding me of sorrow.

The sound of so many rain drops hypnotizes me into a transcended  state of mind as they hit upon the objects of the earth in the midnight hours.  I would love to stick my tongue out

and let a snowflake fall on it again.


I often feel the rain  is a part of my being.

I take it personally  for it is mine alone.

During the middle of a storm, I lift my hands high above my head in homage, letting the rain saturate my palms, spilling down in streams through the pits of my arms.

I can only giggle as the torture tickles me.

For the rest of the fallen rain drops stain my clothes wet. From as far as I can see – to the ground below my feet-

h2o each molecule is a part of this universe-

a unity for you and me to wash our lives.

The rain seems to follow me wherever I go, from Maine to the bottom of Mexico. Crossing all borders bound for freedom….

Making me wet from the inside out, soaking my dignity along with  my clothes.

On a day like this, everything is a uniform of grey.

Shadows standing tall and proud around any corner you may turn.

Everybody goes on with their life in a downpour.

The cars flying over thirty-five hydroplane down the streets.

Splashing innocent pedestrians now immersed in a mixture of oily,

murky nasty water

the road had willingly collected for this occasion.

Kids have no worries as they make sure not to miss the chance to jump, dance, splash and kick through every puddle they come across. Only to arrive home in their soaking wet clothes. Dripping liquid all over their mamma’s clean floor. A muddy season with no mercy for the saturated souls. Wrinkled toes pealed from the dripping socks as soggy fingers wring out the water from unwanted wetness. The pretty girls hide their hair. Brave men just don’t care. Our elders are aching within the arthritic wizened culture that divides us.  No matter where you look what you will perceive  is the drizzle falling from the sky. How the motion concurs  over the still dryness that use to be. Rainbows steal the few glimpses of sun that may peak from behind the cloud renewing our faith. Through a silver lining we can see a new beginning.

The night crawlers are having a field day playing slimming their way through the mud, grass and foliage. Outside I get high from my altered states of consciousness, I feel safe from the flood of emotion. The cats are running from one shelter from the next, trying to keep their precious fur coats dry. The cows are lying in the pasture nibbling on grass.

I observe the individual translucent  rain droplets as they hit the middle of the pools of water. The infinity of circles after impact as it dissipates and becomes one with the mass of metallic looking liquid. Each drop reflects our world upside down. Water is the most abundant element on our planet.

Lightening enhances the world we live in with illuminating flashes of light. When the hot and cold air fronts come together it creates a magical sky. The incredibly ravishing electricity with artistic streaks of light tears from the overcast sky into  our ecosystem. Thunder  roars the storm clouds in with a warning making your ear drums vibrate  with the intense sound of the storms position. Anticipating the eye of the storm hoping that it doesn’t  see you. Lightening can be dangerous, but it is still exciting to me. Reviving me with incredible amounts of energy with every glimpse of fire that is cast upon the earth from the heavens above. When I search the skies for a vision to ponder I find striking results in a mid-summers storm.

I would love to stick my tongue out

and let a snowflake fall on it again.


I often feel the rain  is a part of my being.

I take it personally  for it is mine alone.

During the middle of a storm, I lift my hands high above my head in homage, letting the rain saturate my palms, spilling down in streams through the pits of my arms.

I can only giggle as the torture tickles me.

For the rest of the fallen rain drops stain my clothes wet. From as far as I can see – to the ground below my feet-

each molecule is a part of this universe-

a unity for you and me to wash our lives.

Turn, turn turn

There is a rhyme

For every reason a rhythm for ever season

A time for everything

For everything there is a time

Occupy your  mind occupy this space

Stand for what you believe in stand strong

Before corporations run as an invasive species

decay our land

Toil and trouble

Turn Turn Turn

The leaves of this October

To justify occupation

Harvest is over the lady descends

The lord takes over again

There is a cycle

That weaves the webs of our existence

One strand at a moment’s pace

We tie our knots

Making magic

As we secure

Our existence

Round we to collecting treats

Remembering the dead

on all hallows eve

Binding and tying

Each cross section carefully

Turn turn turn

Around we go again

Moving from one world to another

Change is in the air

Boiling and bubbling

Toil and troubling

Tricking and treating

In guise we go seeking

This the end of the warm season

The earth and our farms

Turn turn turn

The soil planting seeds

Sowing and reaping

Hope emerges through transition

as one world ends another begins

fall leaves our lives as our New Year begins

And our souls fly gently swaying on the wind –My family started composting a few years ago. As the world becomes full of more chaos we can only control ourselves. (Sometimes) Making a serious effort to make good healthy dirt. There is a lack of it in any lot in town from overuse to desecration. The dirt is always mixed with trash you never really know what you’re going to find when you dig in.

While pulling invasive species from a local park with the parks self-proclaimed ‘lone ranger’ (we are Tonto and tribe.)  She informed us that the Native Americans had taken the United states government to court because the quality of the topsoil has declined causing problems in the ecosystem. With composting you can make the best soil!

Composting soil is full of nutrients and minerals. Anything that you can eat, most paper and lawn scraps, animal waste love to be made into rich soil to grow plants  in. Food decomposes the fastest.. By getting the food out of the dumps and into your personal compost you will be decreasing the methane that is produce therefor improving the air quality.

The more times you turn your scrap pile depends on how fast it will turn into viable dirt for all your effort. If you find some dirt looks good brown and crumbly it is ready. Some of the other stuff may not be so you would get a screen with quarter inch holes and sift the dirt that is ready and turn over what isn’t. The most common way to compost on a family scale is to set up two fenced of areas of 3×3 feet out of the way of your house turning soil from one bin to the next.

Worms are also an important factor in the decomposition process. Kids love to have their own compost bucket with pet worms. If you find a plastic container with a cover you can start by adding a few cups of dirt to cover the bottom of the bucket. Then you get your red worms or earth worms  from a hardware or garden store and add it to your bucket. We usually name our worms that will do our dirt processing. Then you can start feeding them your compost materials of food, leftovers and peelings. To keep the fruit flies down you add a few inches of nontoxic newspaper shredded up on top. Mist and feed daily. The worms will then eat and poop out the food. Their excrement is ready and available pure dirt ready to use. ( and it doesn’t smell;) I have always planted gardens. In good soil I grow my vegetables and in poor soil my flowers. While the prices of foods continue to rise like the main staples of wheat corn and sugar. The quality of the supermarket food doesn’t have as much vital life force as our fresh farm veggies. I had gone to my farm share all summer getting the most amazing varieties of kale it was thick and strong. Lasting like a green bouquet in my kitchen for a week. At the grocery store I grabbed some kale trying to get as much as I could with my dwindling funds. I grabbed the organic green kale that wilted within a day. The yellow on the leaves took over within twenty four hours, the yellow reveals that that the chlorophyll production has halted and there is no more vital life essence it is also really bad for you to eat causing the production of cancer in our bodies to accelerate. Last year I bought into a crop share farm and was very pleased with the results. This is our earth, the one and only legacy that we will really leave to our children. It is important to make mindful choice that will improve the life of the planet for generations to come.

Sometimes I write to live, other times l Live to write. The yearning for free time is always there and the words are floating in my head. I wonder if I am brave because I know there is a story taking place and a plot is happening as I go through the motions.. Sometimes it feels as if I am not real. I am just words on an age and I am vicarious  living as I type. That is just a way of really being in the here and now. Feeling with my deepest of hearts and seeing with my eyes around this motel room white walls and my ever increasing imagination that wants so badly to break free of this claustrophobic prison that I can’t find my way out of .

Quiet desperation Laced with inspiration A time of introspection In A time of introspection of monetary deception I revel in- Anticipation at the known Existence of angels Saving my soul From the depths of all my obstacles Quiet desperation Laced with inspiration 2012 The year of the prophecies

House to house I need a place to put my garden know me A space I can call my own to the garden I rose top of the roof trees of fruit and green tranquil and serene Home is the sacred Timeless magical space a room for each person to recharge at the end of the day keeping us safe and pure ]a place to create an abundance  stream of consciousness universal spirit whose motivation emulates everywhere a place to love like you never have been before A walk way A tub cleanses away obstacles where books written make New York’s best sellers list finished on a farm where hens lay and dogs play butterfly gardens attracts nectar harvesters

walls closing in anger under doors smoke in the halls smells not mine enough rules to drive you insane lack of privacy on the telephone lines crossing

Homeless at the Days inn When do I get time for me? Where I’m not tryin to find housin Hours of searching the streets hours debatin surfing the web not the ocean for a home to co-exist w/my children, community +nature even lowering expectations drowned in sorrow holding my head up high expectations walking away w/ a closed ear and wasted time still homeless without a place to be my kids ad me motel full of methadone mothers beat up buoys families with little hope teenage moms stuck in this transition a purgatory retched smoke smelling rooms and tar stained walls kids bouncing off all four walls w/little  hope not yet hopeless Rented signed on the dotted line before my papers could be shuffled a system incomplete I gaged my time and fell head first into the vortex of the abyss no direction to home so many phone calls so much wasted time no reason no rhyme just anotha day phone calls an viewings hoping someone will see us

1/27/2012 My kids are so angry

A winter storm is finally here mocking in tones because the whole winter has been mild. Today is the last day of February and we are getting our second nor’easter of the year. The first one was the on Halloween.  I got out of school early and raced to get my boots, camera and computer. I needed some time to myself.  I find myself in a coffee shop. I find myself at the book mill writing to clear my head. It has been a long day. I woke early at 5:45 laid on my little purple yoga mat that I bought for myself and stretched in between bites of my Kashi cereal with goji and hemp nuts and milk. I started off pure and healthy. Only my time waking the kids turned rotten from the moment I reminded Ocean that he needed to do his homework. He started flopping around like a fish. Yelling at me because he couldn’t find his homework so I grabbed it for him in between the wall and the bed where he left it when he fell asleep though I reminded him that he needed to put it away last night. So I got it and tried to have him gather his stuff on the opposite bed. Only that didn’t work for him so I threw it on the yoga mat where he was sitting and he started yelling at me that that he didn’t want to do it because he was going to get in trouble for not doing it. When I reminded him that he needed to make better choices with his time then he started yelling and I told him to go to time out and he called me a bitch. I didn’t like this so I threw some water on him and he got up and punched me.  What do you do when your ten year old punches you I grabbed him in a bear hug and made him going to time out? I told him I wasn’t able to take him to idol or soccer this weekend. I just can’t justify spending time or energy supporting him when he can’t even be nice to me if I ever had doubts about medicating him until this transition is over they are cleared up now.   He also informed me that it was bull shit that I was making him listen to positive affirmations talks that I have been immersed in lately. I can’t help it. There is such a negative space surrounding us that I need to hear something positive. On the upside we went to kristen’s house on Sunday. She called me in the morning to say that she was depressed and sick and worn down from all her running around and she wanted us to come up to her house. It was a long week last week we met mama in New York City so we could transfer kids and it would make the trip easier. We spent the night in the city on the Friday before last on Wall St. The Ananaz hotel we walk into this hip contemporary hotel with feist playing on the radio. A very tall dark and handsome man walks up to us with a little pad and asks for our registration then he gets us our cappuccino, free cappuccinos. We got settled and cleaned and dressed up on our tenth floor very modern contemporary room overlooking wall St. We went a walking up Wall St. past the Nazdek building to the grounds zero’s sight. I observed this angst energy that was settled over the land since it was eleven we weren’t allowed to visit the inside we were only aloud to observe the new buildings from the wall. . I also noticed that that on each of the four sides of the war zone there were at least twenty cops that were occupying cars of this construction site.  On the news it was a really big deal that there was so much money being spent on security for the Wall Street occupation protests but what was the need for so many cops here? How come no one ever mentioned this?  The occupation in Boston was civil when I took my kids there. Two cops stood outside the sidelines chit chatting with no real care in the world. The next day they were showing and telling on the news how they had to have police in riot gear that was costing a fortune to patrol that is

city i o

What an interesting moment in time,
When worlds collide and nothing is as it seems.
Independence is compromised
By co dependence
Just so we can survive.
Indigo inspirations in giai revelations

  City I o City I O

Creative longitivity

 My muse As I wonder

 Fairy prints Chaotic nymphs