My first experience of the Vagina Monologues was February 14, 2004. it was just the dose that I needed. I had left my husband just a few days earlier. It was late at night and it was the HBO special. All the kids were sleeping on my mother’s floor. I was hoping that we would find a way to gain strength and insight. I had only vaguely heard of the monologues before. I was so amazed with Eve’s courage. How gracefully she was able to speak about vaginas. At that moment, my life was just crawling out of turmoil and I really didn’t know what direction to go, never did I guess that I would be able to get up in front of hundreds and talk about my coochi snoorcher. Never mind talking to hundreds of people about signing my vagina petition but that was to be in my future. That is a big thing, considering that I had sworn off the whole vagina thing as it was, being in the spotlight and talking about vagina’s at least I had my clothing on.
At that point in my life when I saw it for the first time I had nowhere to go but up. There was nowhere to go for a while. The show touched on so many aspects of my life I hadn’t let myself even feel or acknowledge in a while. I remember laying there crying for the few hours that the show played as she hit on the different cords that I had forgotten to listen too. I wasn’t crying about my failed marriage, not even about my broken arm all deformed, or that my life was not as I had planned it to be. I was changing my life as the show progressed I was changing, I was never going to be a good wife and that was o.k. I was never going to go back and that was o.k. too. This was just the excuse that I needed to move into the mindset that I need in order to be a thriving independent female, a single mother of three children under 3 years of age I know I keep saying that. This is a big deal. It makes all the difference in the world there is no down time I am always a mom first.
It was so perfect that I found the monologues when I did. Because there are those times when you just don’t know how to put one foot in front of the other and that was then.
I came to understand how just much the human can really endure and survive, and as misery loves company. I had been put in my place. Knowing that there were others who had been through the extremities and eventually continued on with their lives made what I was going through easier. I am not alone. There is hope and that is through the commitment to make life, all life better