Crystalline reasoning/ 37/ Soul love saga

fall and winter of 2011-2012 248
Crystalline reasoning
a treason unfolding
in my brain
full of grace
with only a trace
of reality
born and raised
clues in this maze
crops not yet grazed

Cyrstalline reasoning
new world colliding
dimensions unfolding becoming one
unified movement
a collective
consciousness
in a world within worlds
where distress melts away
crystalline
reasoning
a seasoning for taste
a flavor that saturates the tongue
like prisms
of courage in the face
of a trip
between worlds
resourceful cooperation
ending agonizing
loneliness that dwells in the recess of the mind
crystalline reasoning
is the niche filled with love
resolving chaos

no particular day

Image

No particular day

 

Today I smile

If only you could see through my eyes.

What you see…

I see no fear

So brave on my own

The hold over control

I stand taller now

To protect my soul

To find my true colours.

I know where I am going

So I stand

To find my name

Today I smile

Today I laugh

If only you could see

The world through my eyes

But what you see

I hold my own

Through this world

You won’t see the tears falling

Hitting my pillow

Holding my youth

Sometimes

There is nowhere I can be.

But I believe that I will get there

Some dayImage

 

thirteen/ soulshine/ soul pollution

nyc 057nyc 054
thirteen

I miss the wonder
Delightful dayz
Whenever I chose to roam
Losing heartache
Each step away
The further I go
The more I explore
The less I know
The beauty of life
Is
No man is more than his expression
It’s how we shine
Our personalities a separate
soul [pollution]

Soul shine
I’m so happy all the time
You make my soul shine
This heart ache
Days when there is no rain
Times around my mind
You’re so far away
I hate it when we are apart
You make my soul shine when we are together
Lookin so sweet
My babye\ loves me in so many ways
Even when you drive me insane

birth

DSCF2628DSCF2248
past
past

Birth

Two weeks after I was conceived my father died of an aneurysm.This is a blood vessle that popped in his head. I suppose one could pop anywhere and still have the same name but one in the brain was deadly back before they new how to treat them. He was healthy and then one day he had a headache that blinded him. My mom was 17 and totally heartbroken. He was 27 and left behind 2 young girls, a son who was adopted when my dad was sixteen and me who he never met, held or kissed. My mom wasn’t acknowledged during the funeral by my grandfather or the mother of his children. They came into my parent’s apartment after the funeral and took everything even some of her stuff. She was left with a bed, a bureau and some stuff in a traveling case that became our coffee table. That was all that they left behind.

I can imagine her sitting in the corner as these people that never came to visit ransacked her house and took possession over her stuff. These people that my Dad had left in his past so he could be free to fall in love with my mom; he was the love of her life.

I never knew my dad nor did I grow up with his family. I only tell you all of this because it makes a big difference when there is no real solid connection between a daughter and a father. There is always going to be this void in my life that can never be filled. There is half of my DNA that remains a mystery. There is that part of me that always wanted to be daddy’s girl. Instead when I need my father the most I go and curl up on top of his grave, tracing the outline of the clipper ship on his head stone praying for direction to un-hearing ears. The feel of the sharp, prickly grass lays permanently engraved on my angles. The struggling weeds dry in the ant mounds keep the landscape unique. No flowers are ever found here by carefully pruning hands. He is just another name, he died so long ago.
One night I ran away and found myself walking up to the top of the cemetery and all things were a glow with the strangest of light. There were three deer that didn’t seem to mind me standing in the gravel road at dusk. The air smelt like a wood fire in the crisp night and the deer stood twitching their ears in the glow of the early evening I know that you’re not supposed to be there after dark but this is the only place I have ever known my dad and I visit when I need too. The deer that night stood before me smelling the air and flicking their tails: one buck with a prestigious rack on his head and two smaller females. Who casually walked me to the grave. Where I sat and waited for answers on the wind. The silhouette of the trees stood tall and dark, the sky behind painted orange. The night is forever etched in my memory among many attached to the connection between myself and wild animals, being in a place where I most need the strength to move on.

*Overcoming obstacles…societies shadows

*Overcoming obstacles…


Societies Shadows
Silver iridescent shadows cast
Upon sacred sights
Visions wonder
Across the midnight skies
Echoing sounds of nights
Lively terror
Anxiety creeps into
Darkened mentalities
Emptiness is souls
Angered spirits
Crossing each horizon
As loneliness dwells
Through my mind
My hands touch cold hearts
Stillness touches
My body
Happiness stands
As an illusion
Society
Held onto yesterday
Until tomorrow

 

 

 

 

soul love saga

soul love saga

Chapter 1
I wonder on how to tell a story that only I can tell. I think about the train rides, the tours, the traveling and the stage. Living my life for music. They all have these hypnotic memories of the way my transportation sounded as I came and left a situation; Drivers, cars, trains, planes and boats taking me to where my destiny leads me. Going from one place to another yet never truly finding a home or my place in the community. The quiet unraveling of insanity as I stared into the unknown. A seemingly nice girl with dark eyes faced out the window of a grey hound bus, lost in my own world. The reflection staring back at her, a transparent soul; a runaway, an independent woman, who never looks back only forward. A Womyn who could spend her days endlessly painting, dancing or writing with reckless abandon.
I can never just say what I mean. There always has to be a rhyme or a reason masking the reality that I have lived. I am afraid for people to see the real me beyond my hopes and dreams into the reality that I have lived. I am afraid that the path that I have been down just will not be understood. How could anyone ever see me the same if they knew the truth about where I have been, what I have done and what I have seen? I have worked so hard to rise above my past. Becoming the woman that I am now, I have left everything behind but a head full of stories that no one knows but me
Until now…

Soul Love

A religion,                a faith
Of believing in yourself
Your power,
Independence…
Overcoming obstacles
Being used and abused
cyfer is degrees in botchi

Patterns of life
Celestial circles
Just listen
To new
Perceptions shared
Insights gained
Things that were meant to be
Or not meant to happen
Things said but never heard
All good words
That never existed

ocean and enhance me

Ocean
The sound of the ocean waves
Is nature’s purest voice
Speaking
If I could never walk by the oceans side
My last breath
Has already been taken me away
When the sand filters between your toes
And the sea crashes against your legs
You become one
Part of its being
With the rest of the world
As you immerse your self
The sun on a hot summer day
when you can play
Swimming with the animals that live in the sea
Teach yourself to be free
Take your land to play
Run away

I sat by the sea

And listened for my heart to beat

The ocean roaring, waiting to take me

I look to the sky and a light shone on my face

Nourish in the divine….United again

The world turning below my feet

A power greater than the difference

Between you and I

The moon in the midnight sky

Moves the ocean waves

Quiet desperation

Laced with inspiration

A time of introspection

In a time of monetary deception

I revel in

Anticipation at the known

Existence of angels

Saving my soul

From the depths of all my obstacles

As with all my poetry, this flowed from the deep recesses of my being. This trip to Hawaii had a profound effect on me. This was the first time I felt the power of the Goddess. This is first time that I really enjoyed the feeling of being connected to the earth. I discovered a sobriety from the life that I was living and learned about my connection with all living beings.

Enhance me

My dreams are slowly changing

My life holds no laws

No real love affair

I need diversity to set me free

open minded compassion

in a sea of distrust

I need someone who understands

the ways of life

in this shallow jungle

hunted by wild animals

though they prey, I hunt

circles never ending

triangles are confusing

enhance me

let the knowledge

be born

unto my mentality

seduce me with your eyes

letting me hear

silent whispers of your soul

Intrigue me by motion

Let your body flow emotion

continue to grow

show me love of life

teach me to laugh

I promise I won’t cry

again

no, no , songs of sorrow

Hold me complete

October 16, 1995

NYC Harlem

Sacred holistic arts

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