Tag Archives: children

preserving/38/soul love saga

when it comes down to trivial moments

self doubt succumbs to preservation

against all wishes and wants

against everything that I stand for

I stand against.

I am for preserving my soul

which is blackened by constant badgering

I am for preserving my dignity

awash  as toxic negativity  saturates my being

when mental illness rains down on my day

I  can’t make others choose the right thing

I can’t make others want to do the right thing

I can hold a light

for when they are ready

I can seek and demand answers

I can self care in this mutilation that resembles a life

one day at a time

i can convince myself that the sun will eventually

make it up over this mountain

and warm our spirits

sharing light to let us play

 

fight or flight/38/soul love saga

Some time ago

a dream came to me

softly at first than rushing in as a scream on adrenaline

my fight or flight hormones raging

sometimes life is soft as a dream

easy to love and full of happiness

when everyone comes together for the greater good

other time my reality is shattered on the whim of terrorizing

energy vampires that suck the life out of my being

scraping whats left of my sanity from my skull

with their razor sharp words

amended moments of time

I find my way off grid and sink into sin

shallow and wasted yet not gone

a vessel of human life

a trace of what I use to dream

a glimpse of all that could have been

then they find me

in all my glory as I started picking up the pieces

they grab them from me

throwing them to the wind

I hope they will reseed as they grow

as they grew in my womb

into the chaos i call home

These mad moments in time

where anything sets  her off

I simplify

and clean

and hope for the best

that they continue to grow

lies/37/soul love saga

enveloped with the sanctimonious air

I am feeling others wrath

their thoughts and choices

changing my life

their peon in power reasons

cause treasons unto my being

treasons against innocent lives

with her lies

being noble is no cause for their tossed

emotions

being good is no reason for their

motive

doing and being more  than I ever thought

i could be

is no reason for their unwavering judgements

against me

actions that cease reason

words that are a crime

trying to tear apart my family

is of no value

for the community

no value for the relationships

i tended and fostered

my nights awake I saved my sleep

to tend others sheep

and didn’t receive

the rewards I deserved

my babes gone from my arms

gone

gone

gone

my emptiness remains

silent in my ears

only my own children

and I left to pick up the pieces from

their foul mouth psychopathic delusions

lying with every breath

I wish to escape  her purger

run to an island and forget this

 

my ecosystem/37/soul love saga

IMG_0245

lingering moments

and dense categories

savoring relish

for the time being

sacred and scared

to move into reality

because my own ecosystem

is safe and free from

anyone else’s genocide

toxic waste dumps

massive amounts of wasted energy

with the masses of viral words

and false disclosers

threatening to invade

your territories and your

minions or children or students of life

 

My guess is it is difficult to come

to the realization

that some of us work hard

at just being the best

we know how to be

ouch…

intensities and elevated vibrations

could soar with un-mounting pleasure

with taking responsibility for your own

gaining rewards instead of wasting

time filling little ears with false hopes

and leaving  a trail of despair

when you feed the lies

and the little truths

crumble to the ground

 

I have a light that shines

on my path

it’s called

hope

I fuel it with

love and light it with

endurance

it saturates my walkway

with will

and shines on my feet

and the roots

growing into giai
I carefully step over

keeping the darkness

from my ecosystem

 

 

morning dance/37/soul love saga

 

P1010951

energy emerges from seemingly nowhere

as the morning mists separate from the waters

of the earth

The falls ions hit the cool air and begin melding

into their evaporation processes

The sun begins to brighten the sky

reflecting warmly off the windows in the ghetto

quiet stirring of birds and cars

as the diesel engines render their drivers to work.

vibrating my feet as

The coffee begins brewing

and children are awakened

into their new routines

some go easy other kicking and screaming

I lurch into actions that begin to resemble

my morning dance

moving swiftly from coffee to child

until alas each one is dropped off

at their establishment

and once again

silence falls

on the house and

I can breathe

 

insidious observations

puzzle peices

insidious observations

counting time where it goes

where this path will lead

gradual preoccupation’s

of teenage dominations

this will only get worse

as the world spins

out of control

how do you grasp

something so big?

wide?

expansive?

as attitude?

diversions

techniques

multiple personalities and kids

striding

heaping preoccupations

when I just want to kick back

take a load off of my anni (hilated)

mind and body

find my center and move there

find my personal space

and live there

 

mischievous/ 37/ soul love saga

Time,

what bugs you motivation+mischievous

ruling out anything

but playfulness

word+ letters trail behind his name

like a puppy lost in chaos

disorganized in the tornado

of energy that follows

in the wake of his madness

never full understanding

the depths of his challenges

the mystical mirror

reflecting

the turmoil that resides in

everyone that he encounters

frail + frugal

like a thief in the night

stealing the bliss of

parenthood

causing me to be alert, alive

and enthusiastic

in the face of anger