Open your eyes and see me standing here
calling out to you.
Hear me as I speak.
I need you to listen to me.
Everything I do is for you
I sacrificed everything daily just so we can survive.
Lost my dignity.
My body is changed forever.
My soul is growing, thriving and suffering
all at the same time..
Guilt plagues me in the nights
as well as lonileness that dwells in the stillness
when you all sleep like angels sweetly
safely
without showing dis abilities
acting incapable of progressing
or raising your families vibration.
You won’t ever read this
the lack of interested in everything
i say and do is capable of tearing down
every thing I have worked so hard for.
Instead of running away in the face of adversity
and chaos that constanly plague our lives.
I meditate and try to raise my own vibration.
I walk behind you and try to guide
while doing damage control.
I cook you meals at your own distaste
but I make sure they are wholesome
while you waste.
I listen to your screams and your disrespect
incapable of grasping reality
tearing at the boundaries like a holy terror.
I clean all day as a ritual
hoping to calm the savage beast
ease the chaotic into well being and
clear the mind.
while the structure is even
the mess from destruction
leaves dust settling in every corner
and broken glass that was shattered
in difiance.
My mind is in constant tramatic influx
searching for answers
while more questions are being created.
sometimes it is too much for one to handle
like throwing me over the edge
where is the grace
or guiding light?
where is my other half
making it right?
Where is the path or
instruction manuel
there is nothing i wouldn’t do
to make it all right
to feel the ease of love
that could make each day worth living
and enjoying again
Crowningshield's Blog 