Tag Archives: depression

stitched with magik/ soul love saga/ 39

There is a calm after the storm too.

Where my fantasies can be come richer than my reality.

I can once again drift into my vortex of longing and dreams.

Shielding all of the unexplainable moments that deserve no words

You can’t make sense of everything

Some things just don’t have sense.

In a world of dis-orders that rage through

a complex scenery

I can’t hide from.

I would miss the occasional sunset or rainbow

I might even have missed that slight smile

that fell onto my teens lips.

I gathered all of my baggage and took to many turns

riding them all to school today.

Searched for a home and wrote a song

making a video of a life I wanted.

When the day is finally done

I crawl under my quilt protected by layers of patches

stitched with magik, sewn by my hands one by one.

From where I have been covering me throughout all my days.

Dreaming about a life that isn’t mine

Not knowing if it will ever be.

preserving/38/soul love saga

when it comes down to trivial moments

self doubt succumbs to preservation

against all wishes and wants

against everything that I stand for

I stand against.

I am for preserving my soul

which is blackened by constant badgering

I am for preserving my dignity

awash  as toxic negativity  saturates my being

when mental illness rains down on my day

I  can’t make others choose the right thing

I can’t make others want to do the right thing

I can hold a light

for when they are ready

I can seek and demand answers

I can self care in this mutilation that resembles a life

one day at a time

i can convince myself that the sun will eventually

make it up over this mountain

and warm our spirits

sharing light to let us play


insidious observations

puzzle peices

insidious observations

counting time where it goes

where this path will lead

gradual preoccupation’s

of teenage dominations

this will only get worse

as the world spins

out of control

how do you grasp

something so big?



as attitude?



multiple personalities and kids


heaping preoccupations

when I just want to kick back

take a load off of my anni (hilated)

mind and body

find my center and move there

find my personal space

and live there


mister/soul love saga


unreadspring 2013 100oh mister

Im so sorry

life can have

harsh realities

don’t get tangled

in a web

o’  destruction

your precious way

will get lost

in the interruption

call my name

I will get there


so you can see daydreams…

so you can hear my song

I love you either way

anywhere you go

It’s all hopeless

under fates control

so to gather all

beckon and call

follow further

than the rest

to a sanction

Bella madre/37/soul love saga

Mothering in the face of death
extended good byes
extra cleanses
holding on to tight
her face angelic
as she looks to her partner
for comfort
her pale face
her long blond hair
blue eyed
her body out of control
shaking and twisting
the plight of her fate
kept tightly
in the grasp of her family

our cells/24/soul love saga

enchanting memories
the past is so far away
no one really remembers
I know how you’ll break me
every time you ever needed me
the day you left destroyed me
I can’t do the same
today you told me all
I wanted to hear
from your cell
yesterday time
was the other way

live life/24/soul love saga

an afternoon
not to soon
I sank in
it all started half past 10
I m!@#$%^&
then I deliberated
my erotasy a world so free
Naked at play
livin with you
would be insane

my mind wants to saturate thy soul
in a gracious plore
to explore your body
a complete touch
I lost some how
I lay still
scared to lose

our souls joined
by mere molecules…

is it our energy drives us to love
so strong
it makes our hearts beat different?

rage my life
through experiencing
I meet minds raw
and closed my soul for others

are we meant to be contained
or do we love as we see fit?
do we make the most of each minuet?
or scar ourselves with mistrust?
how do I bring up issues
that seem so hard to discuss?
when you just want to
spring 2013 152

live life

Living in parables/24/soul love saga

Another day gone
living in parables
do you have all you want
and didn’t count for?
Do you have what you loved for so long
DO you change a potentially wonderful life
and loose my sex
my sex
my sex
where did it go?
He didn’t know what love was
neither did I
I assumed it would work out

all on stand by
what is it going to be
I’ll grow old
today I don’t know

uneding abyss/37/ soul love saga

a failing buety
standing the test of time
in this dimension
that runs her ragged
raging hormones guiding her truths
eyes reflecting
your stories
eyes graced with more darkness
in her unending abyss
leading to her soul
face washed out and tired from
caring for everyone else
she can hardly wait
till a new freedom renders
the sun will shine
again warming your skin
after a long winter
full of so many kids
with too many storms

endless chasm/33/soul love saga

spring 2013 056
This endless chasm of indigestion
led to this moment of true delirium
If I check the mail one more time
I might just see a job for me.
So I search:
the papers, the listings and online
I put on my best clothes
not showing any hint of my recession
I set off walking
to see what I could accomplish.
The birds started spilling out
the roof to see what they could see.
Me doing what I detest. Picking
up anything that will pass me
through till tomorrow
I saw a sign
posted in a window
when I went for coffee
when I should have been drinking tea.
I hid my eyes
so I wouldn’t notice
and I would have to apply
Some things in life just aren’t free
I can see when the wind blows
that there will be a job for me
It’s not in the arts,
nor teaching,
or food
manufacturing the world
of industrialization.
There is simply nothing
that interests me.
I put my name
on every list that contains
info. Gave every last piece of me I had.
Till the sky turned green
and snowed in July
I rocked the boat and bounced so high.