Tag Archives: finding home

I listen

I really hear

Being here

and present

in the moment

the quiet

without

squirms

without

whines + cries

+P1000402 - Version 2 other staples of child hood

I listen,

to the stillnes of the morning

house

without obligation

or inststance

 

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days past

I said in these days past

as the light flickered on and off

by little fingers

all the words I could ever say

who would listen

not the little ears

nor the bigs

but the radiate energy that surpasses

extraordianry lives

and passes ordinary lives

with the likeness of dolls

one moment that leads to another is like

a marathon

where I am only in a race against time

not anyone else

to my sisters dismay

but the uncanny resemblance

of my fathers dead decaying

corpse..

I don’t know where this will all lead

only I know I can’t quit yet

Pushing the boundaries

of the words

that flow from the ether

I have to step up and breath

I have to live and love

and know that in the end

it is me that must

sleep soundly at night

the foster care system isn’t my boss

nor is their mother

but my own consciousness

on raising the spirits

bright and bueatiful

and caring for my own

in their own way

not one person can understand this

journey

nor can they make it easy

except those who get off on suffering

and release their venom on me

instead of taking responsibility

I still have to devote my time

stratagize my personal life

and sacrifice everything to make it right

and love and hug

these beings tight

I am so strong

because I have to be

because I am a survivor

because I cant be weak

for our benefit/ 37/soul love saga

Add new spasmodic affiliations

afflicted with past revenue

past grief

and wrong doings to my body

to my body wrong doings were done

done and disabled are the wrongs

of human kind done by mankind

the human body was meant to nourish the divine earth

saturate her with our blood

composed with belief

as we tended fields our most sacred

moon cycles fell from our wombs

un-pregnated to the earth we worked

as drops landed in plants we cared for

modifying the earth we walked among creatures

as we were once one

plasmas and secretions

fell from our bodies to the hungry earth

needing replenishing from sustaining us

now hungry the fields are

from being over processed

to many years of not being cared for

over utilized we have lost touch with

sustaining

our purpose of completions

of mass populating matrix style

designating chemical warfare

on our own environments

cancers rise

neurological disorders

plague the earth like never before

as the quality of the food

we bring to the table declines

the master of materials

master of rules

master of the public welfare system

should make compost mandatory

recycling  obligatory laws

make community gardens necessary

food stamps and poor farm work

that begins our rise out of the oppressive system

that has held us down and under

work for our food work for our benefit

rise above the system to be the system

that stabilizes and provides our own needs

in ways that nurture our souls

providing the child care we need

legalize the plants that ban the pills

universal health care not sick care

capture the rights of the people

to be safe from gang wars of our generations

our generations that have fought for fuel

the only biomass that is sustainable is hemp

and bio fuel in this counter culture

mushrooms  that are magic to counter balance the toxins

from

fukushima daiichi nuclear disaster

nuke fuels that are pouring thousands of gallons of toxic waste

into our oceans are already having detrimental effects on the earths creatures

un-repeatable problems that will last for thousands of years

along with the oil spills  that would have been cleaned with tossed grass

and chem trails that keep flying

spitting and sputtering controlling our weather through destroying

our atmosphere

where are we going?

such simple creatures causing such harm

who is to start doing the right thing

who will go down in history

governing laws that protect and serve

us and the earth

who’s to be accountable?

where are we really going with all this?

dis orders/38/soul love saga

Open your eyes and see me standing here

 

calling out to you.

Hear me as I speak.

I need you to listen to me.

Everything I do is for you

I sacrificed everything daily just so we can survive.

Lost my dignity.

My body is changed forever.

My soul is growing, thriving and suffering

all at the same time..

Guilt plagues me in the nights

as well as lonileness that dwells in the stillness

when you all sleep like angels sweetly

safely

without showing dis abilities

acting incapable of progressing

or raising your families vibration.

You won’t ever read this

the lack of interested in everything

i say and do is capable of tearing down

every thing I have worked so hard for.

Instead of running away in the face of adversity

and chaos that constanly plague our lives.

I meditate and try to raise my own vibration.

I walk behind you and try to guide

while doing damage control.

I cook you meals at your own distaste

but I make sure they are wholesome

while you waste.

I listen to your screams and your disrespect

incapable of grasping reality

tearing at the boundaries like a holy terror.

I clean all day as a ritual

hoping to calm the savage beast

ease the chaotic into well being and

clear the mind.

while the structure is even

the mess from destruction

leaves dust settling in every corner

and broken glass that was shattered

in difiance.

My mind is in constant tramatic influx

searching for answers

while more questions are being created.

sometimes it is too much for one to handle

like throwing me over the edge

where is the grace

or guiding light?

where is my other half

making it right?

Where is the path or

instruction manuel

there is nothing i wouldn’t do

to make it all right

to feel the ease of love

that could make each day worth living

and enjoying again

 

 

touch me/38/soul love saga

IMG_2305Touch me softly

with the gentleness of a light breeze.

A caress that lights my soul

and gathers momentum as the tides

roll in for the night.

Touch me softly

where strangers don’t see.

Words spoken in the twilight hours

taken for love

given in love

waiting for love

to sweep me into a dream

off to a mecca

and island of delight.

Whispering for noone elses ears

a secret that wanted no one else to hear

between lovers

soul mates

so tied to each other

bonds not even dared ot be broken

protections from all the worlds

devistations in each others arms

moments that graced us as time stood still

winter/38/Soul love saga

 

IMG_2086

Occasionally on winters icy regent mornings

Nothing escapes it’s grasp

cold air seeps into this old house

through every crack

creating a draft.

Through my clothes to the bone

cold withered prospects..

Even the oil bills regent screams

controlling extortion

making seamless activity

impossible to venture

Bio heat activated through false hope

blasphemy falls through my lips

with each new bill

tending to multi layered dimensional being

journeying through this laden crossfire

in this winter wonderland

I lay waiting in the dormant woods

waiting for an icy fable in february

scattered flakes

melting for springs return

Hiraethe/38/soul love saga

P1020165

hiraethe

in lost translation

a home for all reckoning

for relaxing

for being sacred in

the sacred place

nostalgia

in the place with the

where we should be safe

hiraethe

should be my heart where welcoming

friends and family

family

where it was always where

we loved and not fought

where we could be who we are

and nurtured to be better

connected to universal energy

creating all that ever could be

that never existed

No matter how far you go

how far you run

you can’t loose yourself