I listen
I really hear
Being here
and present
in the moment
the quiet
without
squirms
without
whines + cries
I listen,
to the stillnes of the morning
house
without obligation
or inststance
I said in these days past
as the light flickered on and off
by little fingers
all the words I could ever say
who would listen
not the little ears
nor the bigs
but the radiate energy that surpasses
extraordianry lives
and passes ordinary lives
with the likeness of dolls
one moment that leads to another is like
a marathon
where I am only in a race against time
not anyone else
to my sisters dismay
but the uncanny resemblance
of my fathers dead decaying
corpse..
I don’t know where this will all lead
only I know I can’t quit yet
Pushing the boundaries
of the words
that flow from the ether
I have to step up and breath
I have to live and love
and know that in the end
it is me that must
sleep soundly at night
the foster care system isn’t my boss
nor is their mother
but my own consciousness
on raising the spirits
bright and bueatiful
and caring for my own
in their own way
not one person can understand this
journey
nor can they make it easy
except those who get off on suffering
and release their venom on me
instead of taking responsibility
I still have to devote my time
stratagize my personal life
and sacrifice everything to make it right
and love and hug
these beings tight
I am so strong
because I have to be
because I am a survivor
because I cant be weak
Add new spasmodic affiliations
afflicted with past revenue
past grief
and wrong doings to my body
to my body wrong doings were done
done and disabled are the wrongs
of human kind done by mankind
the human body was meant to nourish the divine earth
saturate her with our blood
composed with belief
as we tended fields our most sacred
moon cycles fell from our wombs
un-pregnated to the earth we worked
as drops landed in plants we cared for
modifying the earth we walked among creatures
as we were once one
plasmas and secretions
fell from our bodies to the hungry earth
needing replenishing from sustaining us
now hungry the fields are
from being over processed
to many years of not being cared for
over utilized we have lost touch with
sustaining
our purpose of completions
of mass populating matrix style
designating chemical warfare
on our own environments
cancers rise
neurological disorders
plague the earth like never before
as the quality of the food
we bring to the table declines
the master of materials
master of rules
master of the public welfare system
should make compost mandatory
recycling  obligatory laws
make community gardens necessary
food stamps and poor farm work
that begins our rise out of the oppressive system
that has held us down and under
work for our food work for our benefit
rise above the system to be the system
that stabilizes and provides our own needs
in ways that nurture our souls
providing the child care we need
legalize the plants that ban the pills
universal health care not sick care
capture the rights of the people
to be safe from gang wars of our generations
our generations that have fought for fuel
the only biomass that is sustainable is hemp
and bio fuel in this counter culture
mushrooms that are magic to counter balance the toxins
from
nuke fuels that are pouring thousands of gallons of toxic waste
into our oceans are already having detrimental effects on the earths creatures
un-repeatable problems that will last for thousands of years
along with the oil spills  that would have been cleaned with tossed grass
and chem trails that keep flying
spitting and sputtering controlling our weather through destroying
our atmosphere
where are we going?
such simple creatures causing such harm
who is to start doing the right thing
who will go down in history
governing laws that protect and serve
us and the earth
who’s to be accountable?
where are we really going with all this?
Open your eyes and see me standing here
calling out to you.
Hear me as I speak.
I need you to listen to me.
Everything I do is for you
I sacrificed everything daily just so we can survive.
Lost my dignity.
My body is changed forever.
My soul is growing, thriving and suffering
all at the same time..
Guilt plagues me in the nights
as well as lonileness that dwells in the stillness
when you all sleep like angels sweetly
safely
without showing dis abilities
acting incapable of progressing
or raising your families vibration.
You won’t ever read this
the lack of interested in everything
i say and do is capable of tearing down
every thing I have worked so hard for.
Instead of running away in the face of adversity
and chaos that constanly plague our lives.
I meditate and try to raise my own vibration.
I walk behind you and try to guide
while doing damage control.
I cook you meals at your own distaste
but I make sure they are wholesome
while you waste.
I listen to your screams and your disrespect
incapable of grasping reality
tearing at the boundaries like a holy terror.
I clean all day as a ritual
hoping to calm the savage beast
ease the chaotic into well being and
clear the mind.
while the structure is even
the mess from destruction
leaves dust settling in every corner
and broken glass that was shattered
in difiance.
My mind is in constant tramatic influx
searching for answers
while more questions are being created.
sometimes it is too much for one to handle
like throwing me over the edge
where is the grace
or guiding light?
where is my other half
making it right?
Where is the path or
instruction manuel
there is nothing i wouldn’t do
to make it all right
to feel the ease of love
that could make each day worth living
and enjoying again
with the gentleness of a light breeze.
A caress that lights my soul
and gathers momentum as the tides
roll in for the night.
Touch me softly
where strangers don’t see.
Words spoken in the twilight hours
taken for love
given in love
waiting for love
to sweep me into a dream
off to a mecca
and island of delight.
Whispering for noone elses ears
a secret that wanted no one else to hear
between lovers
soul mates
so tied to each other
bonds not even dared ot be broken
protections from all the worlds
devistations in each others arms
moments that graced us as time stood still
Occasionally on winters icy regent mornings
Nothing escapes it’s grasp
cold air seeps into this old house
through every crack
creating a draft.
Through my clothes to the bone
cold withered prospects..
Even the oil bills regent screams
controlling extortion
making seamless activity
impossible to venture
Bio heat activated through false hope
blasphemy falls through my lips
with each new bill
tending to multi layered dimensional being
journeying through this laden crossfire
in this winter wonderland
I lay waiting in the dormant woods
waiting for an icy fable in february
scattered flakes
melting for springs return
hiraethe
in lost translation
a home for all reckoning
for relaxing
for being sacred in
the sacred place
nostalgia
in the place with the
where we should be safe
hiraethe
should be my heart where welcoming
friends and family
family
where it was always where
we loved and not fought
where we could be who we are
and nurtured to be better
connected to universal energy
creating all that ever could be
that never existed
No matter how far you go
how far you run
you can’t loose yourself
The government is shutting down
down
down goes the poor
down goes social security
wic
fuel assistance
to keep us warm
Down goes housing to keep us going
down goes me
working full time
getting paid by the secretary of state
I can’t afford to live with out supplements
3 kids + 3 foster kids
it is my choice to choose life
yet we are free falling out in the abyss
my mind is spinning out of control
national parks losing millions a day
congress is still getting paid
war is still a priority
as millions die without a cause
without a reason except treason
and bush era figures
while disabilities supersede because of
the environmental toxins thrown at us by
corporations
a failed sick care system
disguised as health care
should be universal care
so the government will have a reason to
take a stand against corporations
for damaging the populations
take a stand against
toxic waste dumps and chem trails
that leave our land and air polluted
killing our soil and saddening our souls
leaving fracking choices to men  far removed
from devotional land unbearable for even recreation
useless and devoid of life
take a stand against using the public
for pawns
cutting down old growth forest
and starting fires
clear cutting mountains  and lands
using up all the resources
with no implication
for future generations
someone will be held accountable
the fight to be right
between republicans and dems
wont matter when all is destroyed
who spent the money when
wasteland supersedes united states
apocalypse is sure to arise
slowly as fracking greedy ignorance
continues
unless we can pave the way
mandatory recycling
for future generations
through environmentally friendly reasons
and decisions
through composting and rebuilding
from the ground up
stoping the war for oil and gas
creating solutions for long term health care
raise the prohibition on green economy
green flowers
for energy, biomass, materials, and medical
raise the awareness
raise the earth up
we are all interconnected
to our ancestors and
future generations
rise up and take a stand
for old growth
and the human rights
and education
among the tide pools
and puddles alike
are ecosystems
that thrive
like the memories in the mind
twisted roots growing
and escaping finding
holes to grow through
their obstacles reaching towards the sun
reaching towards heaven
the deepest recess of the mind are covered with vines
by the conscious being
we’ve become adaptively to natural forces guided by intuition
and experience
moving towards
enlightenment
though we may heal crooked
with understand and shallow in depth
lingering moments
and dense categories
savoring relish
for the time being
sacred and scared
to move into reality
because my own ecosystem
is safe and free from
anyone else’s genocide
toxic waste dumps
massive amounts of wasted energy
with the masses of viral words
and false disclosers
threatening to invade
your territories and your
minions or children or students of life
My guess is it is difficult to come
to the realization
that some of us work hard
at just being the best
we know how to be
ouch…
intensities and elevated vibrations
could soar with un-mounting pleasure
with taking responsibility for your own
gaining rewards instead of wasting
time filling little ears with false hopes
and leaving  a trail of despair
when you feed the lies
and the little truths
crumble to the ground
I have a light that shines
on my path
it’s called
hope
I fuel it with
love and light it with
endurance
it saturates my walkway
with will
and shines on my feet
and the roots
growing into giai
I carefully step over
keeping the darkness
from my ecosystem