insidious observations
counting time where it goes
where this path will lead
gradual preoccupation’s
of teenage dominations
this will only get worse
as the world spins
out of control
how do you grasp
something so big?
wide?
expansive?
as attitude?
diversions
techniques
multiple personalities and kids
striding
heaping preoccupations
when I just want to kick back
take a load off of my anni (hilated)
mind and body
find my center and move there
find my personal space
and live there
I treated my freedom
as a living dying entity
that was very much alive
in the face of making decisions
just for myself
I could be anywhere
without regret
run in the face
of adversary
without sorrow
free from guilt
solace in the sunlight
I mourn my freedom
as I mourh the loss of a relative
one that has escaped dis_ease
and disillusionment
caroling for verse
dancing to death
masquerated as
responsible
reality
moments of bliss
gathering momemtum
over a cliff
of suicide
devotion + codependancy
of systematical justice
locked into hours
minuets forced by establishment
bearing witness to all paper trails
free me
from instability
and poverty
I am half naked in waiting
little texts that declare
my position in life
my position in your life
little words and works that
lay in the dance that we danced
the glaring scared eyes
that looked on
wanting and waiting
with your foot in each door
letting your air settle in their places
I see through you
I hold you captivated for this one
moment in time
made you smile
made you mine
until the end of the night
my dancer
i felt you from behind
your rhythm
your kind
your hands in mine
signals posted throughout the day
conversations lead me back to you
against all odds and grains I go
to new worlds less explored
following the wind
to the vineyard moon
and the road that takes me
to where I want to go
listening to the phone
jumping for opportunities
that signal my time interrupted
from monotony
the swelling waves
radiate the love in my heart
the buoyancy for me to
make it through these obstacles
catching myself in riptides
careful not to succumb
to rapture of the deep
as  I swim naked and free
in the rolling waves
nothing between
me and giai
except  my skin
surrounded by the elements
the taste of salt licks
my body
the sun tanning
my hide
ing me from my life
The question remains
where do I really want to live
rural or city life
ocean or mountains
this valley
open and wide
with friends
and family
or where
my soul thrives
naked immersion
into the ocean
swimming amongst the waves
diving through the water with
my eyes wide open
making love
taking love and
being in love
right here at
the shore
line
love
in the sun
under the rays
listening to the vibration
hoping it will carry us through
till we meet again
our cells saturated
and divided
becoming one
I open and close
my mind
my heart
my body
all in the name
of this sacred rite
sacred religion
this sacred ritual
pushing myself
beyond me
beyond this transition
bettering this belief
in the universe
and the magic of all
this is where you will find me
in nature
Sometimes
it’s hard to find the higher self
the light energy being
that guides our way
staying connected to yourself
through true means
some people are so far removed from it
how do you continue
how do you continue to show
love to those who don’t deserve it
showering unkind favors
dragging a few followers
into a cess pool
splashing anyone around
Every day you will find me
grabbing
phosphorescence
in pool of darkness
trying to make it shine
bright and bold
manifesting greatness
though it all
Freedom
in the ability to travel
and make choices
between life + love
passion
My sky blue tidings
caged unearthed
words+territories
unexplored building
a slow + steady love
learning patience
gives way to freedom
I wander
amid clarity + confusion
I regain my composure
amongst paper trails
+ reality
I maintain my off grid
membership my presence
monumentally
stands in the mountains
tall and proud
in the rivers
cold + clean
gleaning rocks
pottery+ life
in the ocean
pure + wild
If ind my gifts
I find my currency
my wampum shells
to carry me through this
ascertainment
of a new + better life
Found my soul mate
on the interstate
smiling  men
looking in
sharing moments
in passing
playing tag
through
this traffic jam
high ways and bi ways
chasing dreams
leaving them in my dust
morbid placidity
the truth lies
between us
their lies over us
separating us
from common ground
the magnetic polarity of the sun flips
still doesn’t change this out come
it’s time to move on.
She walks with purpose
as if she hadn’t
forgotten the rules to live by
as if she did’t
have to move
from another neighborhood
because of drug induced drama
a shady smile and slithering eyes
betrayed  by her withering body
Living for addiction
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